Tag Archives: Problem Teens

Positive Communication

Communicating with your Kids can be the greatest learning experience for both of you. Remember a while back I told you that kids do not learn values,  they absorbs your values. It’s the same with teaching. You don’t browbeat them you communicate, as in listening, asking questions, interjecting your thoughts and making requests not demanding and making ultimatums and flying off the deep end. If tantrums develope take control as a good mediator does barter back and forth like a good mediator, find a common ground, be the negotiator. You are trying to have them coming to the table of discussion. Not two people ranting and raving. When it gets to that point nothing is being accomplished except resentment.

There’s always a Solution

When your Kids screw up the worst thing you can do is act harshly and not understandingly, many times they knows immediately that they messed up and wish they could turn back the hands of time. Now that you agree on something, ask would you think it harsh of me to have your gamebox for a week or two. Not like I did when the Boys were thirteen refusing to listen to their Mother’s and my request that the should make it home within an hour or two after school dismissed. Why? nothing good comes from hanging in the streets, this is the voice of experience, at fourteen I was smoking Weed and drinking, we were only concerned for their safety. I bought them expensive 15 speed Bikes, pushed to my limits, with them coming home 5-6 maybe 7. I destroyed the Bikes which I regret till Today. That’s not how you do it Lashing Out.

If I had genuinely Burrow into their reasoning to find Root Cause, I would have known that the Boys had a close knit group among tow or three Boys. Sort of a Think Tank like I had at seventeen. All the Boys were likeminded about standing a cut above the rest. Blind me did not see that our job was done, if I had communicated I would have learned that. The Boys were hanging with the right People, they weren’t smoking Marijuana and drinking as I did at their age. I was so Paranoid about them doing the same things I did at their age, rationality was not in my Vocabulary.

Over the years I developed great trust in them, communicating was easy. Even in everyday life I found that positive Strokes worked way better than being confrontational. My Mother was one that was a master at communicating with positive Strokes, for instance caught me at fourteen with Drugs, she would say ” you don’t want to grow up to be a Bum do you” I would much prefer you growing up to be someone respectable and smart, Drugs are for losers. With an approach like that I would prefer getting smacked than being called an Idiot in a nice way.


Not long ago it was fashionable to wear your Pants over your knees, exposing your Ass-Crack.  Some still do, I guess that old habits die hard. It is amazing how people would choose to follow other idiots off a Cliff, instead of setting their own trends and being an independent thinker, free of idiocy and bad taste. Fashion is not the only trend setter, how about fad diets, portion control and exercise can save you a lot of grief. The Internet was created as a Grapevine for information to flow, a lot of people see it a different way. They see it as a place to let it all hang out, literally. A place where bad Taste and hideous graphics rules. Instead of using it as I have, to let your creative juices flow, to let information be accessible to every corner of the world. No they use it to show crimes being committed by themselves, acts of brutality and gruesome deeds, such as High School Girls involved in a Beat down.


Youngest girl, 14, in McDonald’s beat down.
A teen girl was brtually beaten in a gang attack inside a crowded Brooklyn McDonald’s on March 9.
A teen girl was brtually beaten in a gang attack inside a crowded Brooklyn McDonald’s on March 9.(COURTESY TONY HERBERT)
The youngest girl involved in the brutal beatdown inside a Brooklyn McDonald’s admitted her guilt Monday and will likely be placed in a group home as punishment.The 14-year-old is the second teen to take a plea in the revolting caught-on-video assault that shook the city last month.“I punched, dragged, kicked the victim,” she said in Brooklyn Family Court of Ariana Taylor, 15, who was set upon at the Flatbush fast food joint.

The girl, whose name the Daily News is withholding because of her age, will be moved from a juvenile jail to a non-secure facility operated by the city’s Administration for Children’s Services.

She is likely to stay there for a year following her sentencing next week, a source said, although the penalty can be modified based on her behavior.

She was caught in Atlanta trying to board a plane to Jamaica and is facing a stiffer sentence than the probation a 15-year-old accomplice was handed last week because the younger girl was already on probation for an earlier fight.

“She’s taking responsibility and realizing it’s time for her to grow up.

One other girl has her case pending in Family Court.

While the wheels of juvenile justice grind fairly fast, the cases against three teens who were over the age of 16 at the time of the March 9 incident — meaning they’re considered adults — are still in the preliminary stages .

Accused ringleader Aniah Ferguson and one alleged cohort have been indicted for attempted gang assault while the case against a sixth defendant is still pending, records show.

Like always Fads have taken over and ruined a good thing, by posting any crap that comes to their small minds such as hard core Pornography of themselves and sometimes unsuspecting participants. Then there are the ones who live on the edge of death and insanity they puts it all on the line. Not long ago in Pinellas county Florida three kids 14, 15 and 16 , part of a click that stole Cars from Dealerships, video recording themselves racing and playing Tag on city streets at speeds exceeding 100 mph. The reason for this insanity, Posting their Brainless Balls of Steel acts on Social media, seeking their moment. Well Sunday morning four am was their last ride, when the car they were in doing over a hundred flipped several times bursting into flames killing all three. If that video survived the crash and was Posted it would have been viral instantly. There you have it the viral fad. One question,  has sensibility and rationalism taken a vacation. Way back in the days Russian roulette was the fad and wagering game. Six people sat at a table, empty the chamber of a Gun, load one live round, spun the Magazine and passed it till one fool found the Bullet in his head. As I have said stupid Fads have been here forever, and will be here. All I want to know,  is stupidity inherited and is it contagious.



Today we have the Bullet of  Social media posting, not made of lead but also carry deadly outcomes. For that minute of fame we have sixteen year old posting derogatory information about themselves and others including having Sex. Like any other teenagers I also was intrigued, I started a collection of Playboy at fourteen which I grew out of in High school. If we had Social media back then, I still would not have posted myself de-flowering someone’s Daughter on the WWW. It probably would have gotten me killed by her Dad. Fads are not only embraced by mindless Drones, but also by smart people. In 1939 on a dare a Harvard student swallowed a live Gold Fish, by end of the year one hundred others had swallowed who knows how many Gold Fish. The Fad was how many Gold Fish could be Gulped in one sitting. Posting yourself and others in a compromising position could come back and bite you on the ass, ten years later while applying for your dream job. Some Social Media posting is nothing short of swallowing baby Piranha, the exit wounds can be of monumental consequences.


Related stories.

Suicide of teen who made sex video shows dilemma for schools
Staff at a suburban Chicago high school called 16-year-old Corey Walgren to the dean’s office to ask about a video he made of himself having sex with a classmate. A few hours later, the teen walked to the top of a five-story parking deck and jumped.

The suicide of the honor-roll student underscored a dilemma for schools when confronting students suspected of recording and sharing sexual images: Should school officials wait until parents arrive to pose questions and search cellphones for illicit photos or video? Or do they, as de facto parents, have the authority to investigate crimes that might include child pornography?

The issue also raises a high-stakes legal question because many child porn laws predate the phenomena of teens sharing sexual images by cellphone. And neither they nor their parents usually have any idea that doing so can trigger serious penalties, including being labeled a sex offender for life.

“It’s not that big a deal until it happens to your school,” said Joshua Herman, a lawyer who represents schools across Illinois. “Then it’s a nightmare.”

Police reports, court filings, witness accounts, emails and other documents obtained by The Associated Press offer an inside look at how Naperville North High School and police responded in the hours before Walgren’s death in January.

His parents have sued the school, accusing it in a federal lawsuit of unnecessarily traumatizing their son by warning him he could be charged and forced to register as a sex offender. They are seeking more than $5 million in damages.

“They scared the hell out of the kid, and that’s what drove Corey to kill himself,” said Maureen and Doug Walgren’s attorney, Terry Ekl.

In the documents, officials at the 2,800-student school in an upper middle-class suburb west of Chicago say they conveyed to Walgren the seriousness of the matter while also reassuring him that their goal was to keep it out of court.

Blue Bottom


Nestled at the bottom of a one mile hike of treacherous terrain, where a slip of foot could leave you badly damaged, or dead. Lies one  of the most beautiful creation of Nature, it might even be where a Meteor fell hundreds of years ago. Never the less it’s a beautiful Gorge with Mountains and tall Timbers on both sides of a bountiful stream. The water flow was controlled by a man made Dam, trapped in a deep crevice of land. That is how it got its name Blue Bottom. When the sun shines high overhead, you see nothing but blue water, no matter how deep you go. It’s been a prohibited area for many years, story told that back in the days of the Flower Children, Hippies would camp out here for long periods of time, nothing short of Squatting.


Living in a primitive state just like the Mohegan and Pocono Indians did centuries ago. Don’t forget this place is part of the Pocono mountains. The Flower Children, many of them the children of Farmers were self sufficient, they grow what they needed for their Hermit lifestyle including Marijuana. Free Love, Rock and roll and Drugs were the Theme of the sixties and seventies. As in all societies there have always been Dim Witts quickly to take the lives of others in a fit of drunken rage. I guess after Cain killed  his brother, we were doomed forever with the Curse of Murder. At this same Pristine Ground that I hiked many times even though Prohibited, one day one of these peace loving Flower Children whacked out on Acid, killed a couple of his friends, on what I consider to be sacred Grounds. That act of Barbarianism got them all Evicted from Eden. Once again the proof is in the Pudding Drugs are tolerated differently by different people, and taking drugs that you dont know their composition and interaction is like playing Russian roulette with your Life and others.


These Woods were Posted No Trespassing for the longest time. Once Memories are erased by time, each new Generation forget and imitates the previous. Drug Epidemics are typical. Thirty years later the Curse of Blue Bottom re-manifests itself, this time a bunch of privileged kids. The kids would gather at the top of the Gorge with their expensive ATVs, sometimes they raced to the bottom. Once there, let the party begin. Sometimes the party lasted deep into nightmare, drinking and smoking marijuana. The retainer wall of the Dam was ten feet wide with a one hundred and eighty feet drop. Where else would a bunch of young Stoned kids ride their ATVs. The hands of faith have known to be tested long before Evil Knievel, and will forever be. It’s an absolute disaster when teenagers have no structure in their lives and too much time on their hands with dangerous toys to boot. on one occasion one kid raced across the top of the Dam’ s wall, lost control and fell to the bottom of the outside wall, to the rocks that awaited. The Caverns of this Beautiful hideaway is a horror chamber for many. Living in Florida eleven hundred miles away, many times I would think of my secret place at Blue Bottom and my Spirit world make the trip, return and paint a picture in my mind’s eye of this little piece of Heaven nestled in the Pocono mountains.

About Us

I must divulge God is where I come from, and hope that when this life is over he will take me back, despite all my transgressions over the years. First and foremost thanks for the life he has given me, and protected through many failed attempts to end it. I was a late Pregnancy to a Mother exiting the birth cycle, everyone advised her to abort me, it was dangerous and life threatening. You would think using my life as an example I would be an advocate against. I choose not to be out of respect for Womanhood, and the right to choose. Being a devout Christian she chose to put our lives in God’s hands, she believed unequivocally that prayers moved mountains. That was the first time he interceded in my life, over the years all the way to fourteen, being the most rambunctious child ever put on this Earth. I unconsciously tried to end my life at least eight times unsuccessfully with his intervention. I treated life as someone who wore an invisible Halo and flaunted it.


In gratitude for bringing me here I put that Woman through living Hell worrying if I was going to make it this time, and the time after the next time. Every moment spent out of her sight, filled with Prayers, and worries of fretful aging. My adolescence aged her beyond the natural cycle, as a teenager she realized the job was bigger than her capability, so she employed God in prayers. Molested at fourteen, being a gifted street fighter I disabled my intended Rapist with a traumatic blow to his left eye with force to do permanent damage. with a choice of weapons to dissect him I put down the steak knife, walked out and left his miserable soul to God. I never told anyone about my attack through my entire life, leaving my attacker unaccountable. It seemed that fourteen would never end, that same year I beat a Boy senseless, he was the youngest sibling of two up and coming Gangsters, notorious Gunmen in their own rights. With all the failed attempts of ending my young Life, the inevitable was here. Once again he interceded, at a place where I had planned to be the two Teens met their Deaths Execution style no less than sixteen Bullets each. I went to the viewing, a place that I was not welcome, bold as I was, I opened the closed casket, observed their faces dimpled with Bullet holes, I had to see the faces of my intended Killers. The best part of being fourteen, was when I hopped a Plane, leaving Marverly , a place I Call little Trench Town, to another Bad Man’s Town. Bronx New York, with all the enticements to emulate Al Capone, to be inducted by the Black Panther Party, to be a major Player in the Drug World.


Once again he interceded giving me a Mother like mine. She knew that I was Hell Bent on a runaway Train called New York City. without her constant counseling, Prayers, motivating, and challenging me to rise above myself, I would have succumbed to the Street. A Mother knows when there is good and Bad in her Child. She saw and addressed what she had seen in me. She looked deep into my Soul and saw the me, that was oblivious to me. Without her devotion I would not have passed on an offer that made my cousin Millions, fifteen years in Prison and five Bullets. My Best Friend in High School who succumbed made a fortune, and the F.B.I most wanted List. On the day I was to be inducted by The Black Panther Party, with her intuition she told me if you leave this House do not come back. The Safe House where I was to be Inducted blew up killing two. I was having an endless tumultuous Teens Life, at nineteen Organized Crime Mobsters scouted me to sling Heroine to the tune of seven thousand Dollars per week, with Mother’s little voice in the back of my head, and the taught that I could never quit the Organization I declined the offer, after they had exposed themselves to me and lived to talk about it. once again thank you Lord for giving a Mother who was my conscience. Bless her Soul, she had always said there is good in everyone, I will be forever grateful for her foresight, I turned out to be a model Son and Citizen with her relentless efforts.               P.S I am what I am, what I am is  my Mother’s Clay.