Tag Archives: Personal development

Drugs-The Final Chapter

I will forever be beating the Drum about Drugs no one should entertain the notion, but for many it is the beginning of a steady decline from reality. A lot of this Blog post have been said before, well here it is again with a twist.

Jimmy Hendricks

In the opening page of the Book called you, you are given life, you grow, you flourish, you learn. All well and good in your life so far. Then one day someone pass you a joint , a pill , a straw or a stem, a needle.  This is the beginning of the end. some of us can sample anything and don’t become compulsive obsessive.  Most of us are C.O. with Food , sex  , speeding, spending  and just about everything,  so why not drugs. The best way to deal with a compulsive disorder is to first do a self analysis. If there’s anything in your life that you do in excess,  or something that you do that is bad for your health, but you still do it, you are in the ranks of the compulsive obsessive. knowing this, you should be the last person to try any Drugs. I have known people who tried highly addictive drugs such as crack and didn’t become a Crack Head by sampling and occasional use. People like that are rare . The average person who tried crack usually pick up a habit within a couple of hits on the Stem, for some it only takes one hit depending on the quality. My motto in life have always been to learn from others mistakes.

 

Janis Joplin

When I was fourteen we moved in an apartment in the multi family home of the Alexander’s, the oldest boy sold Drugs, the sister that followed him had a Coke habit that killed her at thirty six, the sister that followed her was the Mule, being an Airline Stewardess she had access, availability and transportation the World over. Some people are just opportunist, they see a Dollar attached to a string and they still grab at it. When I was twelve and thirteen I used to hang out at jam sessions of budding Artists like Bob Marley, that’s when I started smoking weed, picking up the Roaches of Spliffs, them Boys rolled the Ganja like Cigars, one Roach lasted days. Living with the Alexander’s was my fork in the Road, having huge abundance and didn’t have to pay for it, in HS everybody who smoke weed knew me and wanted to hang with me, I had personality and access to the finest Weed grown around the world. I could have been a big Dealer, I chose not to,

 

Mother always told us if you walk in shit you will stink, if you sleep with Fleas you will itch. I was overexposed at fourteen. Once I went to a party, passed by a Room where six people were on their hands and knees vacuuming the carpet with their noses trying to recover the spilled Coke. I knew right then and there that Coke was not for me. Within a short time thereafter two of my favorite people died of drug overdose. Jimmy Hendricks and  Janis Joplin they were two of my all-time favorites, I took their deaths hard and thanked them for showing me how not to live my life.
Growing up in seventies the most proliferating drug use period in the world, only to be overshadowed by eighteen century China. People were dropping dead like flies all over from bad Heroine. Yet many of my class mate’s dropped out of H.S and life because of their Habits, it’s as if what was going on around them did not register, neighborhood kids and famous Rock Stars dying with their arms still strapped and the needle still embedded in their arms. In H.S the slogan users are loosers surfaced. At seventeen I held a coworker in my arms,  after stumbling out of the Bathroom spitting out Blood and dying before the Ambulance got there.

 

With all that I witnessed before eighteen do you think it’s any wonder that I am writing about living through a nightmare Era that I endured and overcome while many who walked the same streets that I did never lived to be twenty. using Drugs is like writing the final chapter in your life no good ever come of it, even people with great control like my friend the Photographer eventually succumbs, either by losing their craft or their lives. Now here it is forty seven years later and there is a resurgence of bodies in the streets in Massachusetts and elsewhere from People using a strong opioid, Fentanyl is given to cancer patients as a pain killer . Back in the days people who got stoned with anything they could get their hands on were known as Stoneheads, they don’t get stoned for the same reason that recreational users get stoned, but instead to be obliterated and stupified.
Using Drugs as an escape is as cowardly as suicide, coping with life defines who we are, ask any Cancer Survivor.

The Consultant Parent

 

Helicopters can’t hover forever, and eventually drill sergeants go hoarse. Allow us to introduce an alternative, employed by love and Logic parents, which works well throughout Life. While especially effective with teenagers,  it’s also the attitude parents should have from the time their children are toddlers. We call it the consultant parenting style. As children grow they move from being concrete thinkers to being abstract thinkers when they are teens. Children need thoughtful guidance and firm, enforceable limits. We set those limits based on the safety of the child and how the child’s behavior affects others. Then we must maintain those limits to help children understand that they are responsible for their actions and will suffer reasonable consequences for actions that are inappropriate. However,  while the parents are drawing and holding these limits, it is important for them to continue encouraging their children to think about their behavior and help them feel in control of their actions by giving choices within those limits.

 

This is where the consultant parent comes in. As our children grow into Adolescents, this parenting style becomes even more important. Teens often resent guidelines and rebel at firm limits because they’ve grown to think differently than when they were younger. Because of this important change in cognition, parents must adjust the way they parent to meet the needs of the new thought process taking place in their adolescents. They step back from being the enforcer of limits and let reasonable, real-world consequences do the teaching. They become advisors and counselors more than police officers, allowing their adolescents to make decisions for themselves, and then guide them to successfully navigate the consequences of their decisions. Love and Logic parents avoid the Helicopter and Drill Sergeant mentalities by using consultant style of parenting as early as possible in the child’s life. They ask their children questions and offer choices. Instead of telling their children what to do, they put the burden of decisions making on their Kids shoulders. They establish options within limits. Thus, by the time the children become teens, they are used to making good decisions.

Excerpts -from Parenting with Love and Logic

Incivility

My Nemesis


The lack of cordiality and civility has put a great strain on my good upbringing and training. I was taught that being polite with the excessive use of please and thank you were indications of being Polished. Being Polished shows that you are well rounded. Being raised by a single Mom, Chivalry was my Armor. Nowadays I hesitate to hold the Door for a Beautiful Woman, because I am tired of that Air Head look that I get from them. The look is not acknowledgement, or a smile of gratitude, much more to open their Mouths to say thank you. As the saying goes “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks, because I get the same ill mannered look from some Senior Citizens. So there it is how can you expect different from the Kids. There is a great difference in being raised up and being dragged up.

Again with the look like as if I was stupid or it was my Job to hold the Door. Who raised these People with that mindless glare,my Mother always told me that please and thank you were fundamentals of Social Graciousness, and most of all excuse me. Two people enter the same space at the same time, the civilized one say excuse me the other say Oops what the heck does oops mean, I think it means you are too ignorant to be polite. It’s that type of incivility that created Road Rage, taken to the limit not respecting one’s Borders and Right to exist has started many Wars. In everyday life it has started many fights and Gunplay, in the land of the Blind where the One Eye man with the Gun is King it is of the essence to be Civil. In my Hometown Tampa Florida a loving Husband and Father sitting in a Movie Theater minding his own business, not watching the Movie instead he was Texting.

A moment of incivility was about to blow out of proportion, another Patron asked him to stop doing that, Androids don’t make noise like old Typewriters did. In a perfect case of not respecting one’s Borders and Right to exist. The One Eyed man with the Gun, a retired Policeman pulled his Gun shot and killed this man in front of his Wife and child, along with scores of horrified patrons. One Eyed because of their Tunnel vision. These Cyclops consider themselves good Citizens, how so when your incivility causes destruction. Now do you see the need to be Civil with each encounter, because you don’t know who the Nut is Packing a Gun. Wyoming 1816 never left, the Duke mentality is still prevalent, Smile when you say that Partner.

Growing Up Early

By now it should be obvious that my passion is focusing on the rocky road of adolescence, the tumultuous Teens life, and the uncharted life of young Adults. To say that my young life was problematic would be a huge understatement. No one should be afforded the choices put in front of me in those early years. While working as a Contract Employee in a County Justice System, one day while sitting on a picnic Bench taking a break, less than fifty feet away were Buildings made of Cinder Blocks with windows four feet by eight inches. Behind those walls were Juveniles and teens, I reflected on my youth and spiritually connected with them. The taught of my spirit, my soul left to rot in a Cinder Block Cage, eats away at my Life Span. Knowing that there are young Souls dying behind those Bars gripes at my spirit, my soul is dying with theirs, knowing that if they had a Mother like mine, they would be on the outside sitting on the Bench with me.

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It is for that reason why I am bellowing about problematic Children who ends up in the System of confinement without an Education. I neglected to further my Education, as the slang goes look it. I kick myself daily knowing I could have achieved a lot more in life with a Community College Degree. By gones are gone. You should not have to get to my age to see that you have short changed yourself. The things I think about these days of how I could have averted a bad start, would have mystified me at fifteen, at the Crossroads of do I do good or do I follow Bad, hell of a question. without the ability to reason things out you are lost. The power of reasoning comes from, Education, Responsibility and Cohesive Thinking, as in Family and Community. If you can get this licked you are now above the crowd, a leader people listen to you, all from being a stand alone Thinker, individuality rules. I learned early in life, if you follow the Pack, in a Cattle Drive there are always some who fall off Cliffs. Life is filled with Cliffs, Emotional, Psychological and Financial.

My Nemesis

My Nemesis

If at fifteen you had the Foresight of where you would be at fifty years of failed Living, knowing that you did not take advantage of all life afforded you, then you have no one to blame. When I was seventeen, there were days I just did not go to School, with no excuses , when I should have been learning the Responsibility of an Education. Why should at eighteen not to realize you are never too young to Die, do not box yourselves in. I was taught Individuality at an early age, she said do not Dress talk or walk like anyone else but you. Individuality is not the only thing that is going to keep you free of bad influence. There is so much to life that can be thrown away at the onset of living. I chose not to throw mine away, by growing up early, and realized that life is a Grown Up Game, and if you don’t Rock then you probably wont Roll.

About Us

I must divulge God is where I come from, and hope that when this life is over he will take me back, despite all my transgressions over the years. First and foremost thanks for the life he has given me, and protected through many failed attempts to end it. I was a late Pregnancy to a Mother exiting the birth cycle, everyone advised her to abort me, it was dangerous and life threatening. You would think using my life as an example I would be an advocate against. I choose not to be out of respect for Womanhood, and the right to choose. Being a devout Christian she chose to put our lives in God’s hands, she believed unequivocally that prayers moved mountains. That was the first time he interceded in my life, over the years all the way to fourteen, being the most rambunctious child ever put on this Earth. I unconsciously tried to end my life at least eight times unsuccessfully with his intervention. I treated life as someone who wore an invisible Halo and flaunted it.

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In gratitude for bringing me here I put that Woman through living Hell worrying if I was going to make it this time, and the time after the next time. Every moment spent out of her sight, filled with Prayers, and worries of fretful aging. My adolescence aged her beyond the natural cycle, as a teenager she realized the job was bigger than her capability, so she employed God in prayers. Molested at fourteen, being a gifted street fighter I disabled my intended Rapist with a traumatic blow to his left eye with force to do permanent damage. with a choice of weapons to dissect him I put down the steak knife, walked out and left his miserable soul to God. I never told anyone about my attack through my entire life, leaving my attacker unaccountable. It seemed that fourteen would never end, that same year I beat a Boy senseless, he was the youngest sibling of two up and coming Gangsters, notorious Gunmen in their own rights. With all the failed attempts of ending my young Life, the inevitable was here. Once again he interceded, at a place where I had planned to be the two Teens met their Deaths Execution style no less than sixteen Bullets each. I went to the viewing, a place that I was not welcome, bold as I was, I opened the closed casket, observed their faces dimpled with Bullet holes, I had to see the faces of my intended Killers. The best part of being fourteen, was when I hopped a Plane, leaving Marverly , a place I Call little Trench Town, to another Bad Man’s Town. Bronx New York, with all the enticements to emulate Al Capone, to be inducted by the Black Panther Party, to be a major Player in the Drug World.

 

Once again he interceded giving me a Mother like mine. She knew that I was Hell Bent on a runaway Train called New York City. without her constant counseling, Prayers, motivating, and challenging me to rise above myself, I would have succumbed to the Street. A Mother knows when there is good and Bad in her Child. She saw and addressed what she had seen in me. She looked deep into my Soul and saw the me, that was oblivious to me. Without her devotion I would not have passed on an offer that made my cousin Millions, fifteen years in Prison and five Bullets. My Best Friend in High School who succumbed made a fortune, and the F.B.I most wanted List. On the day I was to be inducted by The Black Panther Party, with her intuition she told me if you leave this House do not come back. The Safe House where I was to be Inducted blew up killing two. I was having an endless tumultuous Teens Life, at nineteen Organized Crime Mobsters scouted me to sling Heroine to the tune of seven thousand Dollars per week, with Mother’s little voice in the back of my head, and the taught that I could never quit the Organization I declined the offer, after they had exposed themselves to me and lived to talk about it. once again thank you Lord for giving a Mother who was my conscience. Bless her Soul, she had always said there is good in everyone, I will be forever grateful for her foresight, I turned out to be a model Son and Citizen with her relentless efforts.               P.S I am what I am, what I am is  my Mother’s Clay.