Too many of us Parents adopt our Parents technique in trying to raise our kids. Their style worked for them because it was a different time, we are living in a new time with new ideology, in the age of communication. These factors have changed the way young people view life and parenting. Kids grow up way faster than we did, with all the learning media available , they are much smarter than us at their age. That is why parenting is an ongoing learning situation. we should equip ourselves to deal with the ongoing challenge, of molding a young individual to develop adult behavior, thinking, and responsibilities. Kids need to learn the art of communication, no yelling , tantrums and fits. Agree to disagree with respect for the other’s position. They need to learn gratitude and appreciation for all you do and all life affords them. If you can accomplish all this your work will be a major success in developing a world class citizen.
In our parents time kids did not disagree with their parents, without consequences. The days of iron fisted ruling are long gone. If you treat todays kids with that approach, the resentment could turn to hate and rebellion. The street and hanging with the wrong crowd could become a refuge from the Dictatorship atmosphere at home. When I was fourteen I started smoking weed and hanging in the streets. I had the worse case of Rebel without a Cause, in my days if you were bad you were good. My Mother found her fourteen year old ounce of weed flushed it down the toilet, not a word of reprimand, no ass whipping no tantrum, no berating. while franticly searching the house, she said if you are looking for what I think you are looking for, I think you should start looking for a job, because you are working your way out the door. You can’t be more direct and blunt than that for a single parent raising two male children. One should always develop confidence, trust and understanding with their children. Her trust and confidence that I would see the light with positive communication turned my life around before twenty one. Raising two boys wasn’t easy we tested her every step of the way. If this avenue is not approached, a young person makes a mistake with no where to turn, they make tragic decisions on their own not having an understanding shoulder to cry on.
One of the greatest gift you can bestow on your kids is understanding letting them know that when they makes mistakes, and screw up that you are there for them. Every one deserves a second chance to rebound from failure and bad choices. If there is any one among you with no sins let them cast the first stone. patience ,understanding and love, are cornerstones of a good parent child relationship. Telling a kid that you never did that as a kid or you would get your teeth slapped out is antique communication. Tell the kid that you do not appreciate that type of attitude, language or behavior, and as long as you are the responsible party having the job of keeping a roof over this family’s head, you would appreciate them refraining themselves from certain behavior. As I mentioned earlier they are much smarter they understand, that you are telling them that you are not putting up with their transgressions, without going off the deep end. When kids disobey you don’t act impulsive and irrational, all will live to regret that impassionate moment. When my boys were in their early teens, I bought them two expensive Bicycles. I told them what time to be home after school. They slighted my request, after several failure on their part to comply with my request, I destroyed the Bikes, their esteem for me and my generosity and my hard earned money . Who was the looser? kids can mature to be solid thinkers and responsible adults with our help, through positive communication, and leaving out the tantrums that we dislike in them.