Monthly Archives: November 2017

Those Special Moments

It’s seven p.m. on St Pete Beach as a result of daylight saving time the sun is long gone, still that doesn’t stop me from sitting out here in the dark pondering my thoughts while I gaze on the infinite horizons. My main thought was how short, unpredictable un giving and unloving life can be. The way we waste our lives chasing a Buck forgetting to smell the Roses and soaking up moments like this. One of my special guest at the Resort is a local Lady who I met two years ago while her beloved husband was still alive, he passed a year ago after a long battle with cancer. I know that both her and the kids loved and misses him dearly and that life must go on.

I often wonder to myself if he was one of those guys who kept his nose to the Grindstone and never took the time to smell the Roses. I Know that his death has opened up her eyes to the unpredictability of it all, and the need to pamper ourselves with the most trivial of moments that should never be taken for granted, I am so happy for her when I see her here at the resort two or three times in one month soaking up the good life. When I see people living life and just existing from day to day in the Rut of rudimentary existence I grieve for them knowing that tomorrow could be just a fleeting illusion. It can treat you the same way the Ocean does a mighty Whale, high Tide pushes them to the Beach and then disappear leaving them ashore. So my advice to you is that you should always ride the Wave of your life, to the finest Beaches then catch the next one out to the horizon of your Dreams.

 

It was now getting darker strollers became fewer, a figure approached me as If to cast a shadow in the dark, as it got close I could see that the shadow was a young Boy. I said hello to both of them and struck a conversation of what a pleasure  it was to see Father and son sharing a moment like this. Knowing that time moved so fast, before you know it, moments like this could be a distant memory and they could be living hundreds of miles apart. Christmas and special occasions could be scheduled to availability, next thing you know we are going to funerals. The way we  take ourselves and each other for granted is nothing short of negligent. We are always too busy doing life and not living it, sometimes it seems to me like we work ourselves into the ground. Working in the Resort business is very demanding,  but I always find time to Write and create moments like today. Because tomorrow is promised to no one.

My Thoughts A Book Of Thoughts

Blogging is a true form of self expression,  unlike making entries in a Diary. It allows you to form an opinion, discuss and review your thoughts on any subject matter. I try to weave my thoughts into a  short story with five hundred plus words. My Blogs are challenging but worth the effort of divulging my life’s experiences to others in need of guidance in the subjects that I write about. Websites crash far too frequently for me to trust valuable information on. I am presently battling my Host for total control of Savingkidssouls.com, writing an ebook is my back up storage. owning the Book is your piece of History in case the Site is ever obliterated by my server who appears to want me to be at their mercy. I am already developing plans for a new website if present relationship can’t be dissolved quickly. Owning my Blogs on Amazon Kindle would be a great way to help developing a bigger and better savingkidssouls.com thanks for your help, this site has been 100% financed by me for your benefit. Contributions are welcome at PayPal.

 

 

My Thoughts: A Book Of Thoughts

 

 

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Bad Driving Habits

When I worked in Construction we had a saying, you could be doing it for fifty years, if you don’t know what you are doing, the years doesn’t matter. So why should driving be different. When we are kids we sit in the middle of the back seat so we see how the driver is operating the vehicle. The learning process begins, if dad is a bad driver we absorb his bad habits thinking that they are cool, ok or acceptable. If you are an apprentice tradesman  and your mentor is someone who cuts corners to stay ahead of schedule when you are on your own you will do the same, until one day the Building you wired burns to the ground. It is the same with driving, if you are used to running red lights one day you will find yourself  embeded under a Tractor trailer if you are used to traveling too fast one day they will have to use the Jaws of Life to get you out of your fine automobile.

 

 

Are you following me bad habits one day will bite you on the ass like your credit score or your attendance record. Case in point John at eighty years old loose his license for accumulating too many speeding  tickets, way later but nonetheless it finally caught up with him, who is going to take him to where he needs to go. Mary lost her’s  for too many Wrecks charged to her reckless driving. All her life she drove top of the line cars and crashed them like they were five hundred dollar heaps like the heaps I drove when I started driving. Only difference is I learned the art of driving by twenty one. In almost fifty years of driving I had one serious crash when I was twenty, that was caused by a bad driver who cut me off within one car length, then took his foot off the gas on an ice slicked road. I learned from that one bad accident, for the next forty eight years, never had another bad crash.

There is nothing unique about my driving skills and habits, I see good drivers out there every day. But I hate to say it, bad drivers outnumber good drivers twenty to one. My one bad accident stayed with me the rest of my life like hitting the re- play button I side -swiped five other vehicles ripped up twenty five yards of guardrail crashing through and nailed in the fast Lane by a car doing sixty five, no brakes applied. Now do you understand why I chose to write about the subject. The Lord kept me here to tell foolish people who think that driving is a joke or a game. Your life and others are in your hand when you get behind the wheel. Ok so you don’t get killed or no one die from your careless driving, have you ever seen what mangled metal do to flesh and bone, it’s not pretty. Why should you wait to be looking at death’s door like I did for you to become a continuous Motorist. Precious left us at nineteen when the driver of the car she was in hit a Light Pole sending her through the Windshield. You can dodge the Bullet for a lifetime one day your bad driving habits will catch up with you or some poor unsuspecting soul. Finally, please do not test the hand of Fate.

Dependency

If you spoil them rotten early in life you will have hell to pay later on in life when you realize that their intentions is to make your generosity their only means of support. Where I work I meet them all, rich kids on spring break with zero values and an attitude that says the world revolves around them. Letting them grow up like that is poor parenting that both you and them will regret later on in life. With no values they have no scruples, no mannerisms and no respect for no one and nothing. In an earlier Blog titled The Root of Evil I mentioned how a spoiled girl who was brought up to worship money, stayed married to her millionaire husband who traumatized her and her Children.

He was a high roller in Vegas who was a sore looser, after returning home from a weekend of losing he would beat her badly breaking Bones and all, the infants would witness the beatings and store the trauma for life, she stayed with him for the Money. Her parents spoiled her rotten, when she started driving they bought her a brand new Cadillac her only value in a Man was what he could do for her. On the other hand I  met a Man who’s worth was in excess of five hundred million dollars when his sons graduated College he started them at the very bottom of his conglomerate. The reason he related to me was to teach them the value of a dollar and humility. Today those boys are running a Billion dollar company and not into the ground with Rock Stars mentality.
There is nothing wrong with lavishing your kids with your generosity as long as you teach values. Today I am walking through the company’s parking lot, one of my coworker driving her parents BMW in a crowded parking lot weaved through the Pedestrians like they were cones, not stopping and give them time to get out of her way. That’s the attitude that I am talking about flaunting that beautiful year to date Heap like it was of greater value and importance than human lives, or they had no right to be in her way. That’s what happens when you let them grow up thinking that it doesn’t stink.

A year ago a spoiled brat who started drinking at an early age with many DUI that his parents made disappear ran into a crowd killing one person.  Sometimes the system facilitates this kind of Bitch attitude that they can get away with murder, which he did serving community service, Giving him a free pass to kill again, or until he kills himself being an alcoholic at eighteen. My kids didn’t drink till they came back from College, they learn that in college also. The point is, eighteen years old and a Drunk always being bailed out by protective parents who spoiled him for eighteen years is bad parenting. Letting them grow up thinking that they’re above the Law and are accountable to no one not even you is not rainising World-class Citizens. Instead you are raising Dependent Bums, without you they could not survive.

To Your Own Self Be Real

 

Pretending can consume an entire life, it started when we are children, we play house she was the momma you were the poppa, you were the bad guy I was the good guy. fine and dandy what else are kids going to do but emulate others, the sad part is it never ends. Now you reach adolescent and the pretense grows into juvenile delinquent because you are pretending that you are cool and you know everything. Still it doesn’t end, a cool teenager who knows everything is dangerous to themselves and others because puberty is coming to an end and pretending to be a man is the ultimate pretense. You can make Babies but a man stands up to his responsibilities and stands by his woman, sometimes to the end.

 Now you are a player you pretend to be someone  trustworthy and caring while you pretend with the concubine that you are serious about them while your eyes are glued on their girlfriends. So far nothing about you is real, you deceive your parents by undermining their wisdom, and those that live lifestyles you should avoid, you emulate pretending to be them.( cats in the cradle, I’m going to be just like you Dad) a deserter and an abuser. Where does the pretending ends, it doesn’t, you pretend to do better than your means hocked to your eyeballs keeping up with the Kardashian pretending to live a picture perfect lifestyle even though you know it’s only Hollywoodlife, make believe. My God will the real you please stand up.

My Nemesis

The rest of your life you continue the Sham that you are better than your fellow man while you pretend to believe in God and is quick to kill to make a point. You profess your Love only to end in deceit, you take a Job to serve the People only to have them serve your pretentious and deceptive ideals. You pretends  to serve God but the Devil is your master  ( many will profess my name) I once knew a Preacher and a Decon who bragged of their conquest among the Congregation. Years ago a church going God fearing man killed his wife and his Minister, I wonder how long he endured the deception before he lost his way. Even since childhood when I was not worthy of being a Christian Woman’s child I never pretended to be an Angel, I left that to the Hypocrites.

 When I grew to be a Man I chose to be Real, I did  unto others and expect likewise, I  commanded respect for who and what I portrayed myself to be. I chose one Woman and over thirty seven years I stayed the course, never once unfaithful. When you tell lies, each time you try to cover your tracks you dig a deeper Hole. After a while the broken hearts, broken mind spirit and souls you put in that hole forms a mound to the high Heaven’s. To survive in a world of deception you need to read more than just print, body language is highly underrated. In High School one of my English Literature Teacher constantly challenged me to tell her what is the Author not saying, she taught me how to live in a deceptive World.

Later on in life I once told my supervisor that I could spot a slacker one mile in the Fog, she didn’t believe me. She got promoted to regional manager and was fired in six months. If you can read body language it becomes your Lighthouse in a storm of deception. Something I read on the subject goes, it is important to understand the role that deception plays in our emotional lives,  because it impedes self understanding and the formation of justified beliefs about ourselves, others and the world as a whole. Deception inhibits our attempt to become more reflective in our understanding, clarifying and evaluating our emotions. Self deception and willful ignorance pose a serious impediment to reflective cognitive affective and conative growth. It also inhibits our attempt to make more reflective evaluations of our institutions, social practices and ideologies that shape and are shaped by our self interpretations. Meaning that deception screws you up and all around you. In the end I say live the life and be proud of what you are.

Filicide

 

 

When Kids kill their Parents it is called Patricide, Filicide describe a deliberate act of  parents killling their infant child, other than murderous little Critters . Every time I read one of these heinous stories it involves teenage parents shaking, smothering or beating the life out of some poor infant that wouldn’t stop crying. This type of parenting occurs when immature Teenagers who could not wait to grow up and live the  adult life , which comes with responsibility, again that word. My Blogs are crawling with the word Responsibility. Raising two teenage boys by herself, my mother told us that it was a struggle raising us, and she was not about to raise our children.

 

Her advice was, when you are out there feeling your Oats thinking you are a Man, don’t forget to keep your Drawers up. That was the best Sex Talk a mother could have with their teenage sons. considering that at fourteen I thought I was a man. When I was eleven years old a thirteen years old Nymphomaniac introduced me and five other boys to sex, lined up. I wonder what became of  her. Probably fifteen kids with Breast hanging to her waist. Regardless the point is that Kids are crawling in the Sack before they learn to read, I know that to be a fact because I met them in High school, illiterate with big Boobs and spandex, school the farthest from their minds. Yet these same people are dropping kids like litter and when they can’t deal with the stress of an infant crying they shake, smother and bat them around like Rag Dolls.

 

 

They aren’t ready for the Job of parenting and their Parents never had that sex talk with them. I am not talking about the Birds and the Bees, way too late for that, I am talking about the responsibility that goes with having sex at sixteen with no protection. The consequences are monumental, including diseases no education and no skills to make a living to provide for their indiscretions.  When righteous minded people have children they know that basically their lives have stopped. The kids have to eat whether you do or not, they need clothes even if you don’t have, they need care even if you don’t care for yourself. They Cries for no reason, they are like the Boss that you hate, always wet and full of shit, but that’s what crawling in the Sack brings. That one moment of pleasure bring a lifetime of responsibility and neglect of yourself, because they come first in all faucets of your life.

 

 

Immature children having babies don’t know this. When I was seventeen I observed a sixteen years old mother made a bed on the Floor placed her infant child on it and went out dancing on a Saturday night. What did I know at seventeen that I should have called child welfare agencies. These are the same people who shake their babies violently when they cries continuously till they are dead. I wrote about Annie the love child of two eighteen years old Kids,  thirteen years later from being raised by her single mom and the resentment of not being able to see her Dad who she was crazy about.

 

 

Annie was so rebellious and prone to trouble, she was one step away from becoming the ward of the juvenile justice system. That’s what happens when Kids have kids. In my neck of the woods 14, 15 and sixteen years old Kids losing their lives in a fiery crash at 4: 30 am after a night of stealing cars and racing them at speeds exceeding 100. That’s what you get from kids having kids, their Parents who are too busy living their own shoddy lives to know where their 14 year old is at 4:30 Sunday morning. Allowing them to run wild to their deaths at fourteen, is just as bad as shaking them to death at six months old. I am not being judgemental or critical, just angry that we are not having one of the most important conversation with kids. Letting them know that being sexually active comes with a very big price.

The Rut

 

Day to Day routine can quickly become a Rut, rudiments give structure, if your routine is structured in a positive and diversified way, you are moving forward. When you are in a rut and the last week or month is a carbon copy of the last, you need to do something different, especially if you are not satisfied with the way your life is going. People who do things the same way all the time looking for different results are looking through rose coloured glass. It’s not going to happen, if you are in a job that all your efforts go un noticed and un rewarded while others less deserving moves forward. You are in a Den of Nepotism.

If you are there for fifty years and your efforts keep moving the company forward all you can expect is Crumbs. You need to break the cycle, the World is full of corruption, why would the workplace be different. When I worked for Solomon Brothers, It was public knowledge that John Gutfreund made 12 million in salaries and another twelve in Bonus. My first year bonus in a low level Position was 8 thousand dollars and John knew who I was and always spoke. This was not a union Job but we all shared the spoils of profit. Not so for the majority of other Companies that I have worked for, one of them made 100 million in profit one year and the spoils were only divvy at the top. Companies like that as long as you are employed you should always be looking to jump Ship. When you are in a rut with Companies like that for twenty five years  they are always  looking to replace you with fresh blood to usurp them the same way that they did you.

People like that aren’t looking out for your best interest, that is your Job. I am not asking for a share of the company or a percentage of the profit, just to be recognized and rewarded accordingly. Sometimes the same situation exist at home, you are neglected, undermined and taken for granted. Great moments and great sex is a distance occurrence, your Dog gets more attention than you. Again you are in a rut, you can’t leave but you can’t stay, I am not a marriage counselor, I can’t tell you what to do but a blind man can tell you that something is wrong. In an earlier Blog titled Stand up Dad Phil raised his two daughters after their mother ran out of their lives with another man, abandoning the family. He went above and beyond in the Job of raising two Girls, put them through College living in a Condo he bought so they didn’t have to live in a Dorm.

 Those girls made his Life a living Hell while growing up, treated him as if he was the one who abandoned them. In gratitude, when they graduated they moved back Home to finish him off with Stress. They disrespected his new Wife with confrontation daily, with one goal in mind, to split them up. They could not bare to see the Will split three ways and the Mansion going to the Wife. I told Phil many times that he should put them out on the Street, he never listened, to the point where his home life caused him his job. I  guess his rut succumbed him. All that I am saying is that there comes a point in every life when change must come, especially when your sanity takes a beating. You will never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.