I must divulge God is where I come from, and hope that when this life is over he will take me back, despite all my transgressions over the years. First and foremost thanks for the life he has given me, and protected through many failed attempts to end it. I was a late Pregnancy to a Mother exiting the birth cycle, everyone advised her to abort me, it was dangerous and life threatening. You would think using my life as an example I would be an advocate against. I choose not to be out of respect for Womanhood, and the right to choose. Being a devout Christian she chose to put our lives in God’s hands, she believed unequivocally that prayers moved mountains. That was the first time he interceded in my life, over the years all the way to fourteen, being the most rambunctious child ever put on this Earth. I unconsciously tried to end my life at least eight times unsuccessfully with his intervention. I treated life as someone who wore an invisible Halo and flaunted it.
In gratitude for bringing me here I put that Woman through living Hell worrying if I was going to make it this time, and the time after the next time. Every moment spent out of her sight, filled with Prayers, and worries of fretful aging. My adolescence aged her beyond the natural cycle, as a teenager she realized the job was bigger than her capability, so she employed God in prayers. Molested at fourteen, being a gifted street fighter I disabled my intended Rapist with a traumatic blow to his left eye with force to do permanent damage. with a choice of weapons to dissect him I put down the steak knife, walked out and left his miserable soul to God. I never told anyone about my attack through my entire life, leaving my attacker unaccountable. It seemed that fourteen would never end, that same year I beat a Boy senseless, he was the youngest sibling of two up and coming Gangsters, notorious Gunmen in their own rights. With all the failed attempts of ending my young Life, the inevitable was here. Once again he interceded, at a place where I had planned to be the two Teens met their Deaths Execution style no less than sixteen Bullets each. I went to the viewing, a place that I was not welcome, bold as I was, I opened the closed casket, observed their faces dimpled with Bullet holes, I had to see the faces of my intended Killers. The best part of being fourteen, was when I hopped a Plane, leaving Marverly , a place I Call little Trench Town, to another Bad Man’s Town. Bronx New York, with all the enticements to emulate Al Capone, to be inducted by the Black Panther Party, to be a major Player in the Drug World.
Once again he interceded giving me a Mother like mine. She knew that I was Hell Bent on a runaway Train called New York City. without her constant counseling, Prayers, motivating, and challenging me to rise above myself, I would have succumbed to the Street. A Mother knows when there is good and Bad in her Child. She saw and addressed what she had seen in me. She looked deep into my Soul and saw the me, that was oblivious to me. Without her devotion I would not have passed on an offer that made my cousin Millions, fifteen years in Prison and five Bullets. My Best Friend in High School who succumbed made a fortune, and the F.B.I most wanted List. On the day I was to be inducted by The Black Panther Party, with her intuition she told me if you leave this House do not come back. The Safe House where I was to be Inducted blew up killing two. I was having an endless tumultuous Teens Life, at nineteen Organized Crime Mobsters scouted me to sling Heroine to the tune of seven thousand Dollars per week, with Mother’s little voice in the back of my head, and the taught that I could never quit the Organization I declined the offer, after they had exposed themselves to me and lived to talk about it. once again thank you Lord for giving a Mother who was my conscience. Bless her Soul, she had always said there is good in everyone, I will be forever grateful for her foresight, I turned out to be a model Son and Citizen with her relentless efforts. P.S I am what I am, what I am is my Mother’s Clay.