Monthly Archives: December 2016

The Flames of Hate

Teaching our kids Hate is equivalent to giving them a Black Eye for life, in their future relationships. If you condone, sponsors or turn a blind eye. The Bible says we are guilty of Thoughts, Deeds and actions. If Hate is a part of their emotional make up, they cannot truly Love. Hate is like the battle of good and evil, there is always the inner conflict in all of us about our choices. If Hate is in the equation there is always the possibility that love could be overshadowed in a relationship that goes sour. If Hate is dormant , someone who you professed  to have Loved will now feel the pangs of a dormant Minion called Hate. When a person commits a crime of Horrific proportion, Hate is usually an underlying factor.

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When it raise its ugly head, the negative possibilities are infinite. When love is the only emotional River that runs through your Valley, a relationship that goes bad is chalked off as love lost , and no tears spilled. You move on with no animosity. Remember that you once Loved, how could it have turned into Hate without underlying currents. Very rarely do you find relationships like mine that have endured thirty six years. If love wasn’t the common denominator, one could always find something to hate about the others idiosyncrasies. Once you start unraveling the Thread of another’s composition, eventually the Fabric no longer exists.

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Mother always told us , there’s good in everyone always look for the good before you look for the bad, because there’s bad in all of us. The first time she uttered those words I disputed her, no more than fourteen, disputing your Mother’s inspirational words. Bold and stupid I would say, I questioned her, even Charles Manson? She reiterated, I left it alone at that. Hate is like any of your other emotions, if not controlled and suppressed, it can consume and destroy. The case’s of Hate these eyes have seen, should have left me blind and in a Mental institution. At twelve years old I witnessed a Hate Crime that could make a crazy man insane. An extremely good looking man in the neighborhood, having conflicts with his Sexuality, lured by three Beautiful on the outside Women to engage in a m’enage’a trios while foreplay was in process, a Bonfire built by Hate was raging in the Backyard. Brown Man as he was called was in the prone position, one of the Ugly Hateful  Women removed a crackling embered stick from the Bonfire and violated this Beautiful trusting Man. Fifty four years later, whenever I reflect I still swell the stench of burning Hair. GOD have been good to me, witnessing  this at such a tender age I should have Hated every Woman I came in contact with. Instead I have Loved one  for all my  life. My mistake! Mother’s love will never fade.       P.S. love conquers All.

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Jasoul

It is so refreshing when the things that you write about allows you to see the finished product. As I have mentioned in earlier pots I was a Mother’s Nightmare. At two years old I drank enough Booze to kill an adult, within two years later drank Turpentine, Paint thinner and other Solvents. Always getting into life and death situations all the way to fourteen. When I was fourteen I wanted to be a Hoodlum. My Mother made a full time job out of my tumultuous young life to mold a World Class Citizen out me. That is why my cup overflows when I meet a child like Jasoul. Totally in sync with her Parents teachings, moulding and hard work to make her into a World Class Citizens. My Mother did just that for me and so did Jasoul’s parents.

I met her while vacationing with her Parents  at the Resort that I work. We hit it off within forty five minutes of conversing with her Parents. Well Heeled she was, way more matured than her tender age. When she wanted to interact in the conversation she waited for a break, never talking over anyone as most eight year old often do. Other kids around her ran themselves ragged trashing the place creating havoc, not her, behavior like that is no put on, that’s how it is at Home and extended in public. As I have preached it is never too young to teach responsibility and good behavior. Jasoul you are Awesome, and so are your Parents. Their hard work permeates through you. We exchanged gifts daily, she always had a minute to show cordiality and felicitations , not just because it was Christmas. I Posses the gift of reading People , I can spot insincerity from a mile. This was the genuine article. I have learned that one should follow their Heart. My Heart tells me she is going to evolve into a World Class Citizens of great proportion. Jasoul my friend don’t ever change except for the better. Again you are Awesome , I could not be any more proud and fortunate to have met you and had the opportunity to tell the world about Jasoul. Thank you young Lady for Befriending me.

Pot Luck-Disposed

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Pot Luck- Disposed.                                                   Probably the most significant Blog that I am ever going to Write is hidden in Menu. A continued exposure of life in a  Nursing Home.

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When The Honeynoon Ends

20161213_213856After thirty seven years of hard work and dedication, henceforth each encounter is a reoccurring dream for me. Bill and Nancy been married for six years, the sex becomes slender, someone needs to ask where is the fire of the Honeymoon night, and the day after the other day. Now that the Thrill is gone, is it me or is it her, someone needs to find out. If you are in it for the long haul things have a way of working themselves out after Tiffs and disagreements. Take my word there is something wrong with each and everyone of us, there are no contingencies. Do not take yourself too seriously, your Prose and abilities. Ropes used to hold Boats to Anchor Pylons deteriorate and snaps after a while, so do Relationships. When the Road Block is visible it’s for you to fix it quick, when Love or lust is high in a youthful relationship, things cool off, now the work begins to rekindle, or people start looking elsewhere. This is not good for any relationship. It never should have gotten to this point if you had done your homework.

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If it is irreparable then breaking away before it gets ugly is not an option. When it gets to this point, these are the worse of Relationships, horrific outcome have been achieved from many of them. Me I prefer the onset of change, it gives you the opportunity to evaluate and make changes to strengthen the Relationship. Knowing that a Girl has the right to be a Girl, if she chooses to be any of her Female self it is her prerogative. If she decides that she want’s more out of a Relationship, that is your problem to connect mentally spiritually, and if possible psychological. Have you taught of sharing interest and activities, I take my wife Fishing and to many manly activities such as going to the Race Track, she is my conscience as to when to stop loosing money, and to go home and loose ourselves in ourselves.

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Sharing each other’s highs and lows is a wonderful catalyst for bonding. In a nutshell it’s all about giving and taking, no if ands or but. Sometimes grudgingly I go shopping with her, or to the Beauty Parlor if it’s a long drive, a little consideration don’t hurt. After the Honeymoon is over the work begins, getting to know each other, likes and dislikes included, pay attention to Body Language not everyone is vocal. One of my favorite Pundits, if you can’t read me how are you going to deal with me. Sometimes People dislike things but say nothing in respect for the other’s feelings, also they don’t want to start an argument. This is not good, if things are pent up to the point that one day the Pressure Cooker blows it’s lid, the Dam overflows and the result is catastrophic. I can not emphasize the importance of Dialog , back in the old days when the Drums stop beating the Arrows fly. That’s also true in Relationships, if it gets past talking it out in a Diplomatic manner, then comes the snide remarks and the name calling. At this point its all over, resentment and disdain turns to hate, and the War is on. Honeymoon Island is a better place to be than the Battlefields of a Relationship. I prefer to sleep with both eyes closed. When it gets to the Battlefield, never stay together for the kids sake, they have eyes and the Walls do talk, the damage is done, and it can only get worse. Take these Chains from my Heart and set me free.

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To my wife Laura

THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES.

LOVE, THE CHAINS THAT Binds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy thirty seven years Anniversary.

Now the whole world knows that I  love you.

Looking Through Closed Eyes

The taught came to me while looking at the sun, I closed my eyes but I could see the glare and the membrane lines. Everything else was nonexistent, flashback to my adolescence when I was a big little Thief Mother was looking right at me and did not see me. She’s not the only Parent who looks at their Kids through closed eyes. It happens every day, a good Student’s grade drops, there’s an underlying cause. Preoccupation with friends, games, sex Drugs  or whatever. The vigilant Parent see and notice all, and addresses the problem before someone gets into trouble, and become a parent , and have to put school on hold for the rest of their life. Before he gets tired of smoking Pot and and moves on to Crack and the likes. Before he becomes a game Junkie and decides to emulate Peter Pan . Before he graduates from petty Thief to racking up a string of Grand Larceny. My Mother told me a story at a young age I don’t know if it’s true or it is a Parable, about to be executed, a young Man called his Mother close to the Bars so he could tell her something. He bit her Ear off and told her that’s for not telling me that I could not get away with murder.

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How quintessence for a parent looking through closed eyes Joey had start killing at the early age of four,Bugs to Frog to Chickens to small animals, all the time with gusto and satisfaction. The Sandy Hook Elementary school shooting occurred December fourteen 2012, in Newtown Connecticut when twenty year old Adam Lanza fatally shot twenty children between the ages of six and seven years old, as well as six adult staff members. Prior to driving to School  Lanza shot and killed his Mother at their Newtown home where she afforded him many Guns and  the accessability to thei’r use, while showing deviant personality and being  withdrawn, Mental illness is a part of our lives, detection and treatment avoids catastrophe.  Now her eyes are closed forever because she did not see. with early detection and intervention all could have been avoided.

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None so Blind as those who refuse to see, in an earlier Post the Alexanders lived in a House where all five Children used Drugs, no doubt they saw the Glare and refused to see the ugly truth. If you see something that isn’t Kosher it is your job to inquire and investigate . I would prefer my Kid to hate me and be alive, than to love my laid back ways and be dead, from my failure to intercede, by looking through closed Eyes. In high School watching him going through one relationship after another after another and not sitting them down to find the cause of all the failed Relationships . Later on he gets Married after his fifth Wife, always complaining and blaming  these damming  Women. Suddenly you can see even with your eyes closed.

 

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Bad Boss

A bad Boss is one that undermines you and all your efforts, your suggestions and your work as a whole. He berates you, snaps you up like Turtle. Your opinions keep them to yourself, because I am the Boss, and you do what I say. It should  never be like that with your kids. When they tell you something, no matter how incredible or disheartening,  you should never dismiss them with disbelief. All the way to adolescence, you are their best friend. How would you feel if you confide in your Best friend something out of the ordinary and they made you feel stupid It’s the same with Kids. They may be little People, but they have feelings also. A Child goes out of their way to shine in your eyes.

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It was a rough day at the Office your Boss was his usual self, you would love to walk out but you need the job. You come Home, the household chores are overwhelming, it might just be some insignificant accomplishment, but they want you to be proud of their efforts. For God’s sake  humor them, remember they look up to you for everything, self- esteem,encouragement and a good relationship. Remember! Never take the job Home. My parent child relationship lasted my entire life, my Mother could always read my body language and knew when there was something on my mind. She would always have an ear and open arms undeniably.

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A good parent child relationship is important  for molding and training. When they complain about something and you dismiss their feelings as insignificant meaningless whining, you could humor them with positive strokes. You do the same for your unappreciative Boss who complain about the quality of your work, by telling him you are sorry he thinks that your work isn’t up to his liking but you are working hard to improve. That’s  positive strokes, even though he doesn’t know his ass from his elbows, knowing that you need the job. Also you don’t want to be argumentative, the same should be with your  kids when they complain,whines ,disagree and disobey. Honey catches more Flies than Vinegar  you can get to the bottom  of your child’s agnostic behavior by using  positive strokes instead of being confrontational and alpha minded like your  Boss.

Thank You Friend

As I have always beat the Drum of a solid upbringing and moulding World Class Citizens. Also the fact that Christianity is not dead, just overshadowed by a fast moving World of materialism and self centeredness. Years ago while riding in a Taxi I found a woman’s Purse, I went inside and found a wallet containing four hundred dollars. Loaded with Credit cards and other I’D I discovered the owners telephone number and called her asking where can we meet.                                                                             20160829_160308

It was there days before Christmas, I was busy but I made time to deliver the possessions. When I handed her the purse she broke down and confide, that was all the money she had in the world. She told me that money was to buy her kids Christmas Presents. If I had decided to keep that money, I would have stolen Christmas from her kids. Upbringing is a wonderful thing, Mother always told us you reap what you sow.

In other words Karma will find you, justly otherwise unjust. Teaching our kids good Citizenship could change the World. Two days ago while Fishing in a remote area I lost my Tablet, the cost of it did not phase me , it was what it contained. In different Directories were my Banking information and the controls to my website. Two days later I got a call from my phone provider, telling me that a good Samaritan was in front of him turning over my Tablet. To you my friend there are good things ahead that awaits you . Usually I am never at a loss for words, today I am God bless you, and once again thank  you. Good upbringing Rules.

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The Tragedy of Friendship

As long as I can remember Tom and I have been friends. I was six or seven years old when we met, his attitude was carbon to mine. We were both rough and tumble, Adventures and Scholars. We lived Tom Sawyer’s life, always in trouble, because we looked for it. Like the time we borrowed two Race Horses and raced each down a two way street leaving the Thoroughbreds tender footed. Another time we almost blew our heads off attempting to discharge two Shotgun shells buried in the ground. Despite our bad behavior and heroics we never neglected School Work, because our curiosity would not let us, we wanted to know everything in life. Both had  high aspirations for the future. Tom moved in the house next door in the Spring of ninety seven, been there ever since. In Junior High we hooked up with three other like minded individuals, one of the New click a Boy named Junior was way older than his years. He started to Educate us on how to get wasted. All through our School years we talked a lot of different games about what we wanted to do when we grew up. Like Harry Chapin said, she was going to be an Actress I was to learn to fly. She is acting happy, and I go flying when I am stoned.

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What a tragedy the way we set our sights when we are at the peak of learning, only to be distracted by the people we hang with. The things we do with these same people dictates our  future. Things like getting high and drinking.The conversations were always the same, always the same Stoned Bull talk, on a Rowboat with no Paddle drifting into adulthood. Twenty years plus at our  backs, and no plans for higher education. My Soul screams man overboard, my Heart cries I am drowning, no one hears. Our creativity sinks into obscurity, convalescing from the inertia of getting high while life is passing us by. Always talking about how difficult life is and how the World is screwed up. What were we doing to change things, nothing, on the same Roller coaster every day. Non productive, lack of energy to do anything except to enjoy the Head, listening to music and talk B’S. That is what we do when our lives inter winds with Down bringers. A taught quoted to me in High School  “Instead of crawling out of the hole they are in A Junkie will pull you in.

 

We are all grown-up and are working mediocre jobs, barely getting by belly aching every day about how tough life is, and the poor gets poorer. When in fact we had a wealth of opportunity to change the cycle, and allowed peer pressure to blight our future. Mike was the smart one he broke the chain, left us in the mire, moved away from what was holding him back, went to School and turn his life around. HE was part of the Click, now he doesn’t look back fearing someone will pass him a Joint. It never occurred to the rest of us, not to be the others alter ego, to be different, to be yourself to be the Captain of your ship. Your horizons awaits leave friends behind who choose to be lost in a fog of Cannabis and Hops.

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Life’s Oceans

20160927_174451Life is like the flow of the tide, you go with it until you have to swim against the tide. In many cases that’s a plus. By swimming against the tide you get to see all sides, which is grand, because it puts in a position of neutrality and impartiality. Anywhere you take it, you are a Leader if you can do it. It also puts you in a position of having empathy, understanding and respect for others. If your life is a tidal wave or a big whirlpool, you need to get out of the water. In other words if your life is in turmoil you need to do everything to fix it, and not taking out your frustrations on others, like your family, your friends, coworkers and strangers.

Some days its a Dog's life

Some days its a Dog’s life

My life wasn’t always calm waters, but I never wore my sorrows on my sleeves. Lesson learned early in life never take the job home, never take the turmoil of home to the job, no matter how bad either was I would always maintain civility, at home, work and on the street. Never always smiling, but always had a hello for everyone. Most importantly always had an open ear to sober myself to hear someone else’s sorrows, ensued by a kind word of solace. In seventy eight while riding a Bus in N.Y. I sat next to an old man, he spoke first, which opened the door for conversation. He asked me how I was doing, I responded not very well. He pressed for more, I told him that I was un employed. He responded do not despair there is always something you can do to make a Buck. From that day I was never unemployed my, perspective towards employment was charged for life. Getting back to him, I asked how he was doing, he told me that he wished he was dead. I was in my twenties, I had never heard anyone used the phrase seriously. My curiosity was peaked, I asked why, he responded, my wife is terminally ill. He continued ” I have spent two hundred thousand dollars on her Care and nothing can be done”. That money was all I had, I wish I could take her place.

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I was dumbfounded to respond, then I remembered words I heard earlier in life while going to Sunday school, I uttered them boldly “the Lord  gives us no more than we can bear” . His eyes lit up with appreciation for the kind words. From that day on I became a people person always having an ear and a shoulder for everyone. On that day I felt ten feet tall, knowing  I was barely out of childhood, taking on grown-up problems and sorrows and being able to console. It was that moment I realized that’s what life is all about, not Living on an Island but being there for each other. That is why I can’t understand the World I am living in, so much Hate and discord, lack of cordiality and civility. Not a smile or hello from the people you encounter daily, maybe the World is in deep water. Before we attempt to fix the World and the Nation as a whole, we need to take stock of how we interact with the family of Man. Teaching our kids good Citizenship could change the next Generation from the raging water of hostilities to a tranquil Pond of coexistence.       P.S. I do Pray.

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