Category Archives: Parenting

Good parenting maps a child’s course

Responsibility

 

When I was a teenager I taught that growing up ment being free of my mother’s constant nagging about the person she wanted me to be. A proud Man with values that others would admire. Having respect for my fellow man, not hurting anyone directly or indirectly, not stealing or cheating, to be precise do unto others as you would have them do to you. All through those turbulent teen years it never occurred to me that what Mother was doing was prepping me for the life ahead of me. She was teaching responsibility to an oblivious teen who could not wait to be an adult and do all the bad things that adults do, like too many sex partners, excessive use of alcohol and drugs. It never occurred to me that they were wasting their lives and killing themselves. I once worked with a twenty one years old man who had heart murmur  from the amount of coke that he ingested from seventeen to twenty one. Can you imagine a young man with the heart of an old man. I also met a Man who didn’t know the names of all his children, he had so many with different Women. Yet another man who drank anything other than milk or water and his stomach would bleed, from all the alcohol he drank .

 

All this boiled down to responsibility, something that too many adults lack. Immature and irresponsible they know how to scratch the itch but nothing about parenting, I would need a calculator to tabulate the amount of men that I have met in their forties and fifties with the mentality of a fifteen year old. Looking back I thank mom for all the nagging. Of all the misfits that I have been unfortunate to meet in my life, I must say mother did her Job raising two Boys by herself with great success. Neither one of us posses a compulsive obsessive disorder, both good husbands and  fathers, world class citizens who respect all of God’s Creatures.
Parenting comes easy for me, lead by example and pass on values through the way you live your life, it can’t be taught. Trying to teach values and living your life in a gregarious manner is contradicting.

The other day I noticed a young man with two young boys heading to the Beach, in one Hand he had a twelve pack of beer in the other was an opened can that he was sipping from. The message he was sending, public drunkenness was against the law but cool anyway, how contradictory. It’s the same when you invite a bunch of friends over, everybody gets shit-faced and trash talk when the kids are within earshot. That’s  irresponsibility , kids are like sponges they absorb their Environment. Once I was sitting at the kitchen table with my friend’s  wife having a conversation when her eight years old son could not get her attention he vehemently declared mommy you are a Bitch , instead of slapping his face and giving credibility to his vulgarity, she asked him why he called her that. He staunchly replied Daddy said that you are. It appeared that he and his dad had a conversation about something that his mother told him he couldn’t have and his response was, don’t mind her she is a Bitch. Like I have said over and again, anyone can make Babies, but we all don’t posses the level of responsibility to be Parents.

Raising Themselves

This is the part of working in the  Resort business that I love. Meeting people from all walks of life, from all over the world. Today I met a Teacher on her Honeymoon,  the conversation started with my Nametag, to where I was from, to parenting to Marriage. On the latter she wanted to know the secret of a long and happy marriage. I began by telling her that I have been married for thirty seven years,  also that without fidelity, communication, respect,  giving and taking I would not be here thirty seven years later giving advice. Next the subject of parenting ensued and how many kids I had also my secret to their level of consciousness. I began by telling her that by being interactive in their lives by setting guidance, interjecting values and telling them to select their friends instead of being selected. She was glued and mesmerized, I was rattling off with the advice. Then I broke the secret that I Blog about all we just discussed. She taught I was pulling her leg, went to the Site and was now a fan.

 

Even though I was enjoying the conversation, I taught to myself I should be moving on I had work to do that the shift before did not accomplish, also she was a newlywed that probably wanted to go upstairs and get busy.
Then she hits me with what do you think about Android Babies, children given the most expensive of Devices to fill the void of  parenting and not interacting in their lives. I said to myself oh my Lord, she just opened up a can of Worms that would take the entire Honeymoon to properly address. I thought, how can I put it in a nutshell quickly. My response, Children put in a position of raising themselves is equievelient to when I was growing up being raised by a single parent who had to work so we could eat. We were called latch key children, when we came home from school there was no one home for hours. We either prioritize by doing homework, cleaning up our mess and probably start preparing dinner so when she gets home there’s little to do.  For a weak and misguided child that is a recipe for being a bad ass Brat.  She was not a stay at home mom so there was a lot that we didn’t benefit, from her always being there.

 

There’s always a Solution

A child in that situation has to grow up fast making sound decisions in how they spent their time and who they choose to be friends with. I told you that when I was fourteen I was smoking marijuana with a twelve year old that went to Catholic school. Both of us were lucky to have interactive parenting to turn our lives around. My mother busted me at fourteen with an ounce of Weed which started intervention. Without her interactive parenting I probably would have been a big Dealer by twenty. That didn’t happen because the Foundation was laid so was the Path filled with values.  Allowing kids to raise themselves comes with no small consequence.  Case in point a sixteen year old honor student had sex with a classmate, video tape and posted it. When confronted by the school he jumped to his death. I didn’t elaborate to the Teacher so I think she needs to revisit Sks.

Blind Justice

Our Prisons are overcrowded with people serving time for what could be considered nuisance crimes, failure to pay child support, Dui, possession of a controlled substance, possession of a small amount with intent to distribute, shoplifting, petty theft, and so on . Such prisoners instead of being fined and on probation are taking up precious space for hard core offenders who needs to be off the streets. Career Criminals buy their freedom all the time with Criminal lawyers who knows how to work the system. The big disgrace is, the failure of the System to protect defenceless Children from their whacked out parents and the child welfare system nation wide. Every day you read about some poor Child dying in the care of unfit parents. People who should not even be entrusted with the care of Dogs and Cats, yet the child welfare agencies go to these homes and leave Children in visible danger in a House of Horror, to return and find the innocent and defenseless Corpse of one more case that they bungled.

 

 

And the beat goes on. It was sweltering in the bedroom of the Largo Fl. Mobile Home the day a child welfare case manager visited in July. Yet she left 8-month old William Hendrickson IV there with no air-conditioning and in the care of an erratic father, who had been refusing to take his (medication) noticed the word not medicine . Hello, ding dong, is anyone out there paying attention. A Mobile Home without AC is an Oven , a Nut that doesn’t take his medication is a time Bomb, if he can’t take care of himself how is going to care for an Infant. Yet the agency failed to take action. There was still time to save the child when a call was made to the Florida Abuse Hotline later that day. However the Hotline operator mistakenly marked the call as a non-priority case. It wasn’t until the next morning that child protective investigators arrived. By then the infant was not breathing and his two year old sister was severely dehydrated. I once heard a man say that Education makes fools out of people without common sense. Many who holds these Jobs have a Degree in Social Science. A State investigation into the death of the infant found multiple failures on the part of the child welfare system that left the boy in a Room where Police investigating the death recorded temperatures of 109 degrees.

 

 

Are these people mentally deficient leaving an eight months old infant in that Oven, do they have Children, do they have a conscience, do they believe in God or the almighty Dollar. Holding a Job like that just to make a Buck is downright scary, dangerous and criminal. Investigators found the case manager who visited the home one day before the child’s death failed to take needed actions. The abuse hotline operator failed to code an abuse report as immediate which would have sent investigators to the home within four hours. Why four hours, this was a 911 situation, other 911 calls are handled with immediacy aren’t  helpless infants in a situation like this a priority.  The case manager and her supervisor failed on several occasions to escalate the case to the State Attorney’s Office when it was clear their safety plan had broken down out of fear of embarrassment and callousness. The two children had been under the watch of a case manager since January, as a result of ongoing  Drug use and domestic violence between the parents. In an effort to keep the family together, the couple were receiving in home services to improve their parenting skills. That safety plan included random drug testing and three surprise visit a week to the home. You don’t need a PhD to know that the inept Bureaucracy were playing Devils advocate with these children’s lives and that they dropped the Ball. All I can say in conclusion is suffer not the little Children for their’s is the kingdom of God.

P.S. anyone can make Babies, not everyone can be Parents, also not everyone should be put in a position of Trust. May God help the unprotected ones.

Taking Shape

How they grow up is all up to you

Moulding your children does not mean creating a carbon copy of you. It means shaping, creating structure and adding values to their lives. Being controlling  overbearing and a Dictator robs them of their individuality. No one has the right to deny one’s individualism, not even a parent. Your job is to cultivate them to be the best they can be as an individual thinker. Your ideals can of the greatest Christian teaching, but we all have faults, it’s for us to highlight their shortcomings to them and allowing them to repair themselves. By constantly browbeating and berating, all that does is to create resentment and Rebellion. Don’t forget that God made Man in his own image, look around you and see how many of us walk in his teaching, loving our neighbors and following the other nine Commandments. If he could not bring out the perfection that’s within us . What makes you think that as a Parent we can have success with our Offsprings all the time. Remember that you can lead a mule to the water, making him drink is another story. People will always be who they are. Even though they carry your genes there can be night and day contrast in personality.

 

There’s always a Solution

Don’t forget Freud had a hard time putting it all together, it didn’t come to him overnight, you never know what a mind is going to gravitate toward, good or bad. You can perform Lobotomy on some people and you still aren’t going to change their thinking. Your heroic efforts are noted, but all you can do is show them the way and hope that they gravitate to your teaching. Several weeks ago one of my coworker slept while her fourteen year old was out four am with his friends stealing cars and racing them at speeds exceeding 100 mph. They were part of a click who played Devil’s advocate video recording themselves and Posting it on Social media, three of them died that Sunday morning. I will say it again Lobotomy can’t save some people. If your life has been charted ill- fatefully only the hand of God can alter it’s course. And on the other hand the Lord helps those who help themselves. If you don’t teach them values and put structure in their lives and when they choose to live on the fringes of death and insanity, then the inevitable happens don’t ask why me Lord.

 

 

It goes back to the first two people on earth they chose  to listen to the voice of the Serpent who represented evil, it continued to the the young Farmer who killed his brother out of jealousy  and It never got any better to the point where Jesus had to lay down his Life. All this and you expect me to be amazed at anything that people allows themselves to become. you can invest a lifetime of teaching and Money in a child and they choose to be exactly who they choose to be. When I was fourteen years old, I smoked Marijuana with a twelve year old kid who went to Catholic school he introduced me to the finest Weed grown in every corner of the world. So don’t tell me about Public Schools and Home Environment, his Parents were top of the Heap, upstanding citizens. It’s amazing how both of our lives paralleled, we both could have turned out to be big time Drug Dealers but instead we both grew up straight and strong. What good would it have been if we both became Kingpins, but in the process we lost our Souls. Remember, we are going to be who we want to be, don’t forget that we are individuals, individual thinkers and no one can tell us at fourteen that we are stupid. The only double edge sword in Parenting is when you don’t try to show them the way how to let their lives take shape, when you allow them to run amuck without a Compass, then it’s all on you.

To Your Own Self Be True

 

If you are in a relationship that is circumventing of you the person, controlling and inhibiting who you aspire to be, no matter what the chain that binds you. I don’t care how much money, how good the sex or whatever that keeps you on the Hook. When a relationship puts you in deep water over your head, compromising your beliefs, your personality, your drive, your ambition  and your spirituality, you need to step. The Bible says that if your right hand offends you, cut it off. We are living in a Player’s World, every other Jerk wants to play you like a Violin. Their goal is to have you Brainwashed, having you believing that they have your best interest at Heart. Not so my Friend, that’s how they tie you up in a knot. Like Gladys knight said “make me the Woman you come home to” that’s how Pimps control.

 

 

Janice was only fifteen years old when Roger a well dressed suave older Man latched eyes on her, waited for her after School in his fancy car, always offering to give her a ride. Like most good looking young Girls who can’t wait to to be a Woman, she was intrigued, this Guy had all the trappings to break down the walls of her chastity.  One day nearing sixteen she broke down and got in his Eldorado. Back in the old days growing up in the Bronx, the only people who drove Ld’s were old men, Pimps and Drug Dealers. That was the greatest mistake of her life, she had stepped into his Webb, exactly what the Spider had hope for since the first day he laid eyes on her sprouting young body. Unbeknownst to her this Man was a ruthless Drug Dealer. He showered her with gifts over the next couple of months, his only intent, to de- flower the naive little wannabe Woman. It worked. The Cradle Robber cajoled her from the Sanctuary of her single moms Roof to his Den of ill-repute.

 

 

The rest is History, a broken Record of Parents warning their young Daughters, don’t take Candy from a Old Dirty Bastard. All he wants is to get in your Drawers, and so did he . Didn’t take long for her to start showing, because she was now compromised. Janice had compromised herself to a Dog, before twenty she was Knocked up three times and had a Monkey on her back. To create a dependency  and be the supplier, puts him in the drivers seat sometimes they beat her up for using up too much.  Back in Pa when you had a Dog that was bent on bad, you take it out in the Woods and shoot it.There was nothing we could for Mathew Broddak when he killed his pregnant girlfriend friend for the last hit of Crack. Also  far too humane for Roger the Dodger, as he was known. The damage he had done to her was irreparable, all the time telling her that she didn’t need an education or training  because he would always be there for them. The ignorant young Girl she was, believed him that she didn’t need skills, until eleven years later when he was convicted of Murder and given Life. Now she had to clean up her act and go to work with no skills. Poor Kid twenty six years and no skills entering the workforce for the first time so she can provide for her Children, without going on Welfare.

 

 

My Mother always told us that if you lay with Flees, you are bound to itch, man was Jan ever scratching. She was scratching from withdrawal and scratching for a living. Bad enough to be fifteen entering a relationship and giving it up to a cradle Robber of ill repute. How dumb can you be? in some society fifteen is considered to be a Woman, not in Florida. She was only a child when she started having his Babies. He tied her up mentally and psychologically, in some way I don’t blame her. She was only a misguided Child getting caught up in the Webb that he had spun. This is an ongoing cycle for young Girls wanting to be Women too fast, instead of concentrating on the benefits of an education. They become pre occupied in growing up fast and in doing all the dumb shit that adults do like doing Drugs. I was not different, except I had a Mother who was bent on steering my Ship straight. Finally I would like to say thanks Mom for being a great Mother and Father.

Prudence

 

 

Like anything else in life such as skills,  mannerisms,  personalities,  behavior and parenting, people refuse to ascend to be the best they can be. Most people are quite comfortable with complacency and mediocrity.  Of all the things to be half assed at, parenting is not the place. If you were raised by mediocre parents, you should not raise your kids in the same mindset. Parenting is not just about putting a roof over their head’s and food in their stomachs. It’s a little more than that,  like setting a path for them to travel their lives, showing them good values and graciousness. Most parents want their children’s lives to be better than theirs. There is nothing wrong with your children being more developed than you, socially and all around. In an earlier Blog titled Jasoul, I was so impressed with an eight year old child,  that I had to do her parents justice by what I had observed in their child. Jasoul had great mannerisms, style, grace and a ton of class. That is what prompted me to to write this Blog.

Today while walking down Beach Boulevard I noticed a twelve year old girl walking wearing half of a Bathing suit with both hands covering her little Breasts. The tragedy of this scenario was that she was walking with her family. The poor Girl was showing modesty in an age where girls barely older than her walks down the same Blvd with their ass cheeks hanging out of their Hooker shorts. It appears that she was being taught a lesson or being punished,  why I came to the conclusion is, she was showing modesty and her brother wasn’t asked to give her his T-shirt and dear old Dumb Dad didn’t offer her his shirt  while mediocre Mom didn’t come to her female child’s aid. That scenario left a lasting impression on me,  I am quite sure it left one on the little girl. Now do you see what I consider to be half assed  parenting. We are supposed to be there for them in all their times of need. Even though we are in Resorts City where Grownups are walking around with their ass cheeks hanging out of their Bikini, this child wants to be Prudent, for God’s sake work with her and don’t diminish her self pride.

That’s what Great parenting is about. just because you come from a household where your Dad walked around the house in his Boxer shorts always scratching himself in public and always had your Mother pregnant and barefoot, that shouldn’t be good enough for your Daughter who wants to be Prudent and smarter than you. let her be the person who she chose to be and help her to be that person. Your Children should not be a carbon copy of you, your job is teaching them individuality and responsibility. I will say it again parenting is not for everyone who makes Babies.

Blue Bottom


 

Nestled at the bottom of a one mile hike of treacherous terrain, where a slip of foot could leave you badly damaged, or dead. Lies one  of the most beautiful creation of Nature, it might even be where a Meteor fell hundreds of years ago. Never the less it’s a beautiful Gorge with Mountains and tall Timbers on both sides of a bountiful stream. The water flow was controlled by a man made Dam, trapped in a deep crevice of land. That is how it got its name Blue Bottom. When the sun shines high overhead, you see nothing but blue water, no matter how deep you go. It’s been a prohibited area for many years, story told that back in the days of the Flower Children, Hippies would camp out here for long periods of time, nothing short of Squatting.

 

Living in a primitive state just like the Mohegan and Pocono Indians did centuries ago. Don’t forget this place is part of the Pocono mountains. The Flower Children, many of them the children of Farmers were self sufficient, they grow what they needed for their Hermit lifestyle including Marijuana. Free Love, Rock and roll and Drugs were the Theme of the sixties and seventies. As in all societies there have always been Dim Witts quickly to take the lives of others in a fit of drunken rage. I guess after Cain killed  his brother, we were doomed forever with the Curse of Murder. At this same Pristine Ground that I hiked many times even though Prohibited, one day one of these peace loving Flower Children whacked out on Acid, killed a couple of his friends, on what I consider to be sacred Grounds. That act of Barbarianism got them all Evicted from Eden. Once again the proof is in the Pudding Drugs are tolerated differently by different people, and taking drugs that you dont know their composition and interaction is like playing Russian roulette with your Life and others.

 

These Woods were Posted No Trespassing for the longest time. Once Memories are erased by time, each new Generation forget and imitates the previous. Drug Epidemics are typical. Thirty years later the Curse of Blue Bottom re-manifests itself, this time a bunch of privileged kids. The kids would gather at the top of the Gorge with their expensive ATVs, sometimes they raced to the bottom. Once there, let the party begin. Sometimes the party lasted deep into nightmare, drinking and smoking marijuana. The retainer wall of the Dam was ten feet wide with a one hundred and eighty feet drop. Where else would a bunch of young Stoned kids ride their ATVs. The hands of faith have known to be tested long before Evil Knievel, and will forever be. It’s an absolute disaster when teenagers have no structure in their lives and too much time on their hands with dangerous toys to boot. on one occasion one kid raced across the top of the Dam’ s wall, lost control and fell to the bottom of the outside wall, to the rocks that awaited. The Caverns of this Beautiful hideaway is a horror chamber for many. Living in Florida eleven hundred miles away, many times I would think of my secret place at Blue Bottom and my Spirit world make the trip, return and paint a picture in my mind’s eye of this little piece of Heaven nestled in the Pocono mountains.

Mannered

 

If a child is led to be disrespectful of what you ask and say, believing that they are indisputable and unreproachable.  Through whatever means that they hold your trust, it’s  unbecoming of a rounded out individual. They have rough edges, that should be professionally addressed. By you looking away in helpless disbelief, only feed strength to a person with no fear. They will test you to your limits. And , when they are done with you, they turn to Society.

 

Being mannered is a reverent and humbling  feeling, that if you were able to save the world, there is still something, someone or some greater force , to say the least, listen to you, and believing that laws are just  that. When I was fourteen my Mother found my ounce of Marijuana while washing my clothes. This was the first time I was mannered. That woman flushed my ounce of Marijuana and dares  me to tell her what I was looking for. I was humbled to see someone who was well within their rights of exploding like a stick of Dynamite, choose to be the Bigger Man. She had not once in our lifetime ever asked me what a fourteen year old was doing with having and smoking marijuana. what she did was, she counseled me about the way that I was living my life, of the dangers, the  health effects and the consequences. She spoke to me like a Priest and a Drug Counselor. The civilized treatment made me absolutely crazy asking myself why don’t she explode. That is super parenting, for a single mother raising two teenage boys in NYC, let’s call that Dr Mom.

When I was sixteen, going to a party she told me what time to be back in the house, being who I was, my inner demons spoke to me they said she is not taking to you. Stumbling home at pre-dawn, just about morning, shit faced and all, she ambushed me behind the door with a Broomstick, dropped me to my knees, but guess what I did not jumped up and punch her , even though  someone I know could kill, I would have been stupid to disrespect someone who could kill you with kindness. That is mannered. If you can’t manner a child by either fear or logically reasoning , that person will not be afraid of laws. When I was ten I witnessed a man getting knocked down, got up told his assailant to wait right here, returned with a Machete tucked away, asked him try and hit him again, the fool swung. From that day on he was known as Lefty, that’s street mannering, street justice, What it feels like to sing the Blues.

 

 

When I met Mark Harshberger, while working for him as a contractor. Early in our relationship he told me his life insurance was six figures. A state wrestling champion, with 100 Guns. He was afraid of no one, I hope at least GOD. During a small altercation at work for getting too close to his new truck, he offered me six from a forty-five. Hello. Somewhat of an agnostic nature I would say. He was abusive to the workforce, there is no doubt in my mind that He took some of that bodaciousness home. Once we were doing interior demolition on a College Dorm to remove the hazardous building materials, he had abused us so badly for the duration of the project, on the last day of finalizing the project. The Crew of twelve, Mutined, twenty five Dollars per hour and no one showed up for work. He was fearless and un-reproachable. He could shoot as well as his wife Marybeth, who have hit Bullseye at 2000 feet, and beyond.  One fateful day Mark and Marybeth were in Canada hunting with some of their finest Telescopic  equipped Rifles. At this point in his Life he was covered close to three quarters of a million . Sharp-Shooter Marybeth Shot and killed  Mark stating that she taught she shot a Bear in the twilight dusk. While back Home she was setting up House with Mark’s Brother. Murder by Death or death by Murder, you call it. Regardless! Mark was Mannered by Marybeth.

 

PS. we should not wait for someone else to have to manner up our kids.

 

WikipediaMary Beth Harshbarger

Mary Beth Harshbarger (born February 19, 1965) is an American woman who rose to media attention when she accidentally shot her husband, Mark Harshbarger, during a hunting trip in Newfoundland, Canada, thinking he was a bear. She was charged with “criminal negligence causing death” and found not guilty.

Mary Beth Harshbarger
Shooting incidentEdit

On September 14, 2006, Mary Beth, her husband Mark and their two young children, and Mark’s brother Barry Harshbarger, were on a hunting trip outside of Buchans Junction, Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada. The facts of the case state that Mary Beth was sitting in the back of a Chevy pickup truck with her children, armed with a rifle, on a logging road late in the day.[1] She waited with her children while Mark and a local hunting guide walked through the nearby spruce woods in the hopes of flushing out a black bear.[1] Barry was at a hunting blind elsewhere in the woods.[1]

Mark began to walk back toward the truck with the guide, the guide stopping to urinate in the woods.[1] At this point Mark walked towards the van, ahead of the guide, in dark clothing without an orange hunting hat or vest to improve his visibility.[1] At 7:55 pm (NT) as he emerged from the woods, Mary Beth told police that she saw a dark shape that she believed was a black bear, and fired using her rifle.[1] What she shot was not a black bear however, but was instead her husband Mark.[1]When he was shot, Mark Harshbarger was approximately 200 feet from the truck in which his wife Mary Beth and two children were seated.[2] In recounting the incident to Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) officers at the lodge where they were staying immediately after the shooting, Mary Beth said she had looked through the scope twice to make sure what she was seeing really was a bear.[3] She insisted that she had not seen the blue of Mark Harshbarger’s pants, but instead seen the black of a bear.[3]

According to Dr. Nash Denic, the St. John’s, Newfoundland pathologist who autopsied him, Mark Harshberger died of one gunshot wound to the abdomen.[3] Dr. Denic revealed during Mary Beth Harshberger’s trial that Mark would most likely have been leaning over when he was shot .

PS. working for Mark, I found him to be a Tyrant and a Slave driver, very ill-mannered with the Workforce. Regardless no one deserved to be taken out like that, by a Sharp-Shooter who could hit a Bullseye at 2000 feet, my question is, why would you shoot at something 50 yards away not sure what it was being a professional Hunter. If every Hunter in the woods fired at everything that moved, there would be Bodies stacked in a mountain.

PPS. Did I mention that there are too many Guns in the wrong hands in this Country .

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Dying In the Name Of Fun

They have their fatalities too

At Save Driving we are always advocating safe driving and teaching good values to your kids. We cant think of any stronger way of driving this message home, than with the real thing.
Sunday afternoon, on my way to work I drove through the crash scene of the carnage that took place hours earlier, Where three Kids lost their lives in a high speed joy ride at over 100 mph. These kids were playing Russian roulette with their lives and the general public, who uses the roadways. There are many more out there whose Destiny is forged in an inferno of mangled steel. I know that we all have to die at some point, but that way is not my way, suffering excruciatingly in mangled steel. There are many adults who test the hand of faith daily  on our roadways.
The ones I look out for mostly, are the ones that are two miles away from their exits and they Punch the engine, reaching speeds of up to 100 showing off. When I lived in Pa I used to call them Jersey Drivers. They are everywhere, mindless Drones, so why am I not surprised that a sixteen year old would find that type of behavior fascinating. I once observed a Mother transporting her four children in a mini van, the kids were moving around while she played the Kamikaze Mom,weaving traffic at 65mph in a forty five mph zone. I travel not only  by sight, but by Faith also and I lead by example. what this mother was doing unconsciously, was telling her Children that it was cool to go driving through city streets like a maniac.
Kids can’t wait to drive, when my nephew was eight years old, someone left the keys in the ignition, guess what, he started the car, took off and crashed it. We try to teach them all they need to know to survive in life, why not teach them good driving skills by the way you operate your vehicle. Auto Manufacturers and NASCAR have already planted the seed in their heads that Cars ar’nt for Transportation, but for racing, the damage is done. When I lived in Pa and NASCAR came to Pocono Raceway, it was like a national holiday, people took off from work, school and life to be at the Track watching cars traveled way past 170 mph. After leaving the Track they would take what they have learned from NASCAR to the streets. Why then would you be surprised, when young bored Urban children take to stealing cars and racing them through City Streets. Kids from affluent families borrow their families BMW, smitten by the Speed Bug and never made their way back home, bottom line, Speed kills.
Ps.  Values, limitations, boundaries and consequences can keep them alive.

Three boys dead after fiery crash in stolen SUV, Pinellas sheriff says

“I value my life,” he said. “I’m not trying to be dead.”

Just eight months later, on Sunday morning, three boys died and Deyon was led away in handcuffs after a fiery, high-speed crash sent a stolen Ford Explorer pinwheeling through the air down Tampa Road in Palm Harbor, bursting into flames.

VIGIL: Friends, family gather in Clearwater to remember teens who died in SUV crash

Eight teenage car thieves from Pinellas have now died in the past two years, and dozens of innocent people have been injured, amid a juvenile auto theft epidemic so pervasive that even kids who vow to stop are then climbing back into stolen cars.

“When you have 14-, 15-, 16-year-olds that are dying because of their actions, it needs to stop,” said Pinellas Sheriff Bob Gualtieri. “This is a deadly game.”

The boys who died in the Ford Explorer were driving more than 100 mph, playing a “cat and mouse” game with another stolen car at 4:40 a.m., before they likely ran a red light and hit the Toyota Camry of a 29-year-old man on his way to work, the sheriff said.

Both the Ford Explorer and the Chrysler Sebring it was speeding with were stolen Thursday from a car dealership in Clearwater. Deputies spotted the vehicles early Sunday morning turning into a subdivision in Oldsmar, where there had been a recent rash of burglaries.

HOT WHEELS: How kids are driving Pinellas County’s car-theft epidemic

The cars were then spotted on Tampa Road. They split up, and the Explorer hit the Camry before smashing into a billboard pole and several parked cars, spinning and rolling down Tampa Road in flames. Two of the dead boys were found in the wreckage; the third had been thrown onto the street.

The boys who died were identified as Jimmie Goshey, 14; Dejarae Thomas, 16; and Keontae Brown, 16. Keontae’s brother, 14-year-old Keondrae Brown, was also in the SUV but survived. He was taken to Bayfront Health St. Petersburg and was in stable condition Sunday.

THE KIDS Six teens involved in stolen car crash have troubled histories

Deputies found the Chrysler Sebring at Sunset Point and Keene roads in Clearwater. Kamal Campbell, 18, and Deyon were taken into custody and face charges of grand theft auto and resisting arrest without violence.

The driver of the Camry, Ricky Melendez Jr., suffered a fractured ankle and tibia, as well as a broken collarbone, according to his father.

“My heart just dropped,” Ricky Melendez Sr. said. “After looking at the crash, I don’t know how he survived.”

Chris Urso | Times

The Ford Explorer struck another vehicle and spiraled into the air at around 4:30 a.m., Pinellas sheriff Bob Gualtieri said.

A continuing epidemic

Local officials said the deaths were a tragic but inevitable consequence of the ongoing auto theft problem.

“This scenario plays out daily throughout Pinellas County,” Gualtieri said. “The only difference between what didn’t happen yesterday and the day before that and the day before that is they didn’t roll, hit a car and get killed.”

 

In March 2016, three teenage girls from St. Petersburg died when they crashed a stolen car into a cemetery pond while trying to flee from deputies.

The epidemic was recently the subject of “Hot Wheels,” a Tampa Bay Times series that found that Pinellas kids driving stolen cars crash at least every four days. Teenagers here have made a sport of “car-hopping,” walking neighborhood streets looking for unlocked cars with keys left inside to steal. In 2015, police in Pinellas arrested juveniles 499 times for grand theft auto, more than in any other Florida county.

Reporters spoke with judges, police, lawyers, victims and the young car thieves themselves, who said that auto theft has become popular because kids don’t see many consequences after they’re caught.

Each of the teens involved in Sunday’s crash had “extremely extensive criminal histories”; several had committed car thefts like those chronicled in the Times series, the sheriff said. Many young car thieves wear gloves to avoid leaving fingerprints while they car-hop; one of the boys died still wearing his.

Clearwater police Chief Dan Slaughter called the deaths “senseless.”

“Many have worked so hard to avoid this inevitable tragedy,” Slaughter said. “The juvenile justice system needs to do a better job with conducting juvenile risk assessments so chronic offenders who are endangering the public, and themselves, can be reasonably detained.”

Keontae’s grandfather, Sylvester Brown, said the boy was released from custody just days earlier.

Brown said he wishes the juvenile system had been tougher on his grandson. “Why did they let him go like that?” he asked. “They should be more hard on them.”

Keontae’s father, Adontai, said his son “was doing something he shouldn’t have.”

“I admit that — I’m not going to sit around here and sugarcoat and say he’s the best kid in the world,” the dad said. “He had his problems, he did stuff that he wasn’t supposed to do, (but) he’s still a kid. He’s still a child.”

He added that it’s difficult to parent a child who has no respect for the courts.

“If they keep getting away with it, you think they’re going to respect the parent? No.”

Jimmie’s cousin Aja Jenkins said the boy played football growing up.

“He was loving. He was kind,” said Jenkins, 23. “He had a good heart. … (Jimmie) fell into the wrong crowd.”

Another ‘wake-up call’

Public officials who have been meeting to brainstorm solutions to the car theft problem said they were “heartbroken” and “at a loss.”

“These kids slipped through the cracks again,” said State Rep. Kathleen Peters, R-Treasure Island. “Somehow, whatever it is we’re doing did not protect them.”

“We need to intervene before it becomes another tragedy in our community, and we’ve seen far too much of this,” said Pinellas County Commissioner Ken Welch. “If anyone felt sheltered, this should, I think, be a wake-up call that we’re all invested in this. We’re all invested in trying to reach these young people.”

Welch described the problem as “a combination of a lack of consequence in the legal system, a lack of intervention by the community, parents, everyone, to get to these kids early.

“It’s only a miracle that more innocent folks haven’t died so far,” he said. “But I think it’s still a ticking time bomb.”

VIDEO: Chasing 13-year-old car thief Tyron ‘T-Man’ McKinnon

Pat Gerard, another county commissioner and former Largo mayor, said she was frustrated that Pinellas “wasn’t getting a handle” on the epidemic. “Hopefully this is a warning to the other kids that are doing this that, gee, they’re taking their lives in their hands,” she said. “We have a small group of kids who are making a big game out of this. And the game’s turning deadly. And it’s just not funny anymore. It never was funny.”

U.S. Rep. Charlie Crist, D-St. Petersburg, has pledged federal funding for activities that would engage Pinellas youth who are turning to crime. He said he is “praying” for the families of the boys and for the community, as well as planning an Aug. 24 roundtable with local teenagers to talk about why they steal cars and what would make them stop.

‘I cannot bury my child’

Deyon’s mother, Demetria Coley, said her son was doing well for a while. She had helped him get a job at a Kentucky Fried Chicken in Dunedin. She moved houses, hoping to get him away from a bad crowd.

He started getting in trouble once more in early July, running with the wrong kids again, she said. “I keep telling him don’t go with them, they are not your friends.”

Deyon, who spoke to the Times in December for the Hot Wheels series, was arrested for grand theft auto again last month, and was later sent home with an ankle monitor. It was removed about five days before the crash, his mom said.

On Saturday night, Deyon ordered a pizza for dinner and ate it in his room. She thinks he must have slipped out after she went to sleep.

A single mother, Coley said she has begged judges and the juvenile system to do more to help her and to make her child see the consequences of his crimes.

“That’s why these children are dying. Because they keep slapping them on the hand,” she said. “I buried my mama, my grandma, my daddy. I’m the only child. And I’m all Deyon’s got. And this is what he’s taking me through.

“I cannot bury my child. They need to help me to help save his life.”

Times staff writer Melissa Gomez contributed to this report. Contact Lisa Gartner at lgartner@tampabay.com. Follow @lisagartner. Contact Laura C. Morel at lmorel@tampabay.com. Follow @lauracmorel. Contact Zachary T. Sampson at zsampson@tampaabay.com. Follow @zacksampson.

MORE ON TEEN CAR THEFTS

THE CHASE: Cops, teen car thieves and a dangerous game

EDITORIAL: Coming together to reduce car thefts

5 WAYS: Officials are trying to stop Pinellas teen car thieves

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As It’s Bent

 There is no way, no how you can lead me to the contrary,  that as a twig is bent so shall it grow. There is always the possibility of aberration.If you have never said no to your kids, more times in your favor than theirs, the battle is lost. you have failed them by not teaching them that there are boundaries, limitations and consequences to the role they play in Society. A child who encircle himself in self-centerednes cannot grow into a world class citizen, being irreverent of others right’s, feelings and the limits to which you can trespass. Dealing with early tantrums and fits of rage can save you and Society a lot of future grief and headaches. Case in point. A child shows signs of mal-adjustment, yet you ignore and do nothing to correct, years later now a teenager his fallacies have only grown, he is now showing signs of an introvert. yet that don’t mean anything to you, making Guns accessible, adding salt to the wound, you take him to the Target Range and teach him precision. One fateful day he shoots you dead and move on to Kindergarten School and kills twenty three Babies. To some parents recognizing the signs, are like trying to convince a drunk that he is a drunk. Some of us slip through the cracks early in life, it is for us as parents to teach kids the facts of life early on. There will never be another Baby Jesus, yet he was rounded out beyond anyone of us could aspire, so why would we allow our kids to grow up thinking that they’re above our laws, society ‘s laws and the laws of God.
 
Laws are the Fabric that keeps Society from unraveling. we have to lay out limits and boundaries early in life. I have known parents who allowed their kids to ride rough over them since two years old, after many years of never saying no, the consequences were devastating. You see it every day in the News, your neighbors, people you know and famous people like Aaron Hernandez and many others committing Murder. All because no one took the time to tell them that there are boundaries, limitations and consequences. It takes me one hour each way every day to commute, semi-rural is where I chose to live. Today I woke to the news that one of my neighbors two and a half miles away, committed murder for the third time. not only did his parents failed but so did society. The lessons of limitations , boundaries and consequences were never taught.
 I don’t care what the Phd’ s say this is a classic case study of depraved Human indifference, and the Parole board and his parents should be in prison for unleashing this monster on society. Continue reading the supporting story and judge for yourself.
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‘I just have a hard time being rejected,’ says two-time killer accused in third death

HOLIDAY — Warren Birkbeck went to prison in 2000 for slashing his estranged wife’s throat in a New Hampshire condo. Decades earlier, authorities say, he was convicted of manslaughter in Massachusetts.

Now, two years after his release from prison, the 71-year-old man is accused of killing a third person, this time in Pasco County.

Birkbeck was booked on a charge of premeditated murder Wednesday after telling deputies that he stabbed a female roommate three to four times in the chest. He explained that he was in love with the victim, 42-year-old Denise Cook, but that she didn’t feel the same way.

“I just have a hard time being rejected,” he said, according to the Pasco County Sheriff’s Office.

The attack happened just after 3 a.m. Wednesday in a home on Trask Drive in Holiday that was shared by three unrelated adults.

Cook died at the scene. Birkbeck was held without bail at the Pasco County Jail. He was still on probation from the New Hampshire killing, which, after a plea agreement, produced his second manslaughter conviction.

“There’s no other way to say this: He’s a killer,” Pasco County Sheriff Chris Nocco said at a news conference, where he listed Birkbeck’s past convictions. “He has a history of killing people.”

An Associated Press report from 2000 details the New Hampshire stabbing. The circumstances of the Massachusetts conviction were not immediately available.

Birkbeck moved to Florida two years ago after his release from prison to live with his sister, also on Trask Drive.

After his sister died, neighbor Lillian Meyer, 85, took him in, the sheriff said. The church organist, known for her willingness to help others, also took in Cook. A friend said the two women attended church together.

Birkbeck has been under the supervision of the Florida Department of Corrections since Oct. 14, 2015, state records show. He has checked into his local probation office monthly since then, according to agency press secretary Ashley Cook, who called the event “tragic.”

She said he last met with a DOC officer on July 12, and that an officer had previously visited the residence unannounced.

Holiday neighbor April Sullivan, 42, said this is the first she’s learning about Birkbeck’s past.

“I’ve never seen a parole officer pull up in front of that house,” she said. “Who’s watching him?”

The neighbor said she felt uncomfortable around Birkbeck. Something felt off the few times he would stop to chat or try to give her bags of old clothes.

Now she wants to know why others who knew Birkbeck’s past didn’t seem more concerned.

“This is a system failure issue,” she said.

Neil LaRose, a longtime friend of the victim, said he knew about Birkbeck’s New Hampshire manslaughter conviction but not the one in Massachusetts.

He visited the home in Holiday often and said in recent weeks Birkbeck showed signs of mental health issues that should have been addressed.

“I truly don’t believe they kept tabs on him enough,” LaRose.

Under terms of his release, Birkbeck had been ordered to participate in a substance abuse program, avoid alcohol and obtain mental health counseling, among other restrictions. He was also barred from unsupervised contact with children.

Aside from a criminal registration in February of this year, he had no recent criminal history in Florida, state records show.

Deputies said Wednesday’s incident began after Birkbeck overheard Cook talking to a man on the phone. He entered her bedroom to confront her. She screamed at him to get out.

Birkbeck left the room, went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife and returned, the Sheriff’s Office reported.

Afterward, he entered the older woman’s room and told her he had just stabbed Cook and that he believed she was dead.

They called 911 together — the 85-year-old organist and the man now accused of murder.

Birkbeck got on the phone and described his actions, the Sheriff’s Office said. He said in an interview with deputies that he “just flipped out.”

Cook was a mother of three, though her children did not live with her.

Her friend LaRose said meeting Meyer was a turning point in Cook’s life, after a rough stretch.

“She’s been down on her luck,” LaRose said.

The women had known each other for at least a year. With Meyer’s help, Cook rediscovered her faith in God, LaRose said.

“Denise and I used to call her [Meyer] our angel,” LaRose said.

LaRose recalled years long ago when Cooke was “super mom” of her Clearwater neighborhood. Cook would host pool parties and deck out her house in thousands of Christmas lights, reflecting a personality that was always cheerful, smiling and bubbly.

Her kinship with the church organist planted sparks that reminded LaRose of that old self.

The older woman pushed Cook to get her life back on track, he said. Cook was about to start a job as a medical assistant.

None of them considered Birkbeck’s interest in Cook any more dangerous than a crush, LaRose said.

But now he is mourning the loss of a friend who not long ago was sharing optimistic plans for the future.

“It’s just a shock and a major tragedy,” he said.

 

 

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